There were 160 spoof news stories published in March 2005. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Sick Truth Behind Andre The Giant's Death
Sex scientist and forensics expert Dr. Rudolph Lassaratte today announced the results of the ten year long autopsy of professional wrestler Andre the Giant, aka Andre Rene Roussimoff. Andre died January 27, 1993 and his autopsy took as long as it di...
Read full storyMoore to weave his magic on next Harry Potter book
Sizzling in the acclaim for Fahrenheit 9/11, Michael Moore has accepted the invitation to direct the sixth Harry Potter film.
Read full story50 Cent Awarded Purple Heart
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- At a packed press conference in 50 Cent's hometown, President Bush made an appearance to honor 50 for his remarkable accomplishments and achievements to the hood and the gangsta way of life. Many of 50's friends were on...
Read full storyScott Peterson, Mark Hacking, OJ Simpson: "DON'T Do-it-Yourself!"
CHICAGO (AP) The spouse killing business is showing a profitable increase in the 2nd quarter. One anonymous hired wife killer told our reporter, "There are a lot of husbands out there that want to get rid of their wives. Usually it's all about sex, b...
Read full storyClay Aiken and William Hung to Record a Duet Together
In a move that's rocked the music industry to its core, Clay Aiken and William Hung have joined pop culture forces to perform a duet together. It's been dubbed, She Bangs...Her Head Against the Wall Because That Would Be Less Painful Listening to Thi...
Read full storyWhedon Considering Affleck as Wonder Woman
In a bold move by newly announced writer/producer of the Wonder Woman movie, Joss Whedon revealed he's considering Ben Affleck for the leading role.
Read full storyGates Gets Knighthood Queen Gets Virus
BUCKINGHAM PALACE - Shortly after the private ceremony in which she conferred knighthood on Microsoft founder Bill Gates yesterday, Queen Elizabeth II began "operating sluggishly," said a Buckingham Palace spokesperson.
Read full storySchumacher Confident About New McTeam
It was all change at the top today in Formula 1 as first a new team was announced, and then their prize scalp was revealed - Michael Schumacher. Instead of cruising to almost certain victory for Ferrari this season, Schumacher has elected to join the...
Read full storyDan Rather Joins Naked News Team
NEW YORK - CBS News anchorman Dan Rather will not go gently into that good night after his final broadcast. He will go naked instead. Rather, 73, announced this morning that he is joining the staff of Naked News, where he will serve as weatherman an...
Read full storyWest Virginia Students Treated Unfairly
WEST VIRGINIA (AP) People in West Virginia have been getting the short end of the stick for so long they hardly question their poor treatment any longer. The typical West Virginian is happy to just finish his 14 hour shift at the dilapidated coal min...
Read full storyKobe Bryant Dating Tips
EAGLE, COLORADO (AP) Kobe Bryant, in town to pay some fines for overdue books at the public library, spoke before a group of teens about dating. The 24-year-old Los Angeles Lakers star said, "How you behave when you're out on a date says a l...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Neverland Ranch Sold!
CALIFORNIA -- Just one day after being put on the market, Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch has been sold. "We were delighted to inform Mr. Jackson that we were able to sell his home is such a short period of time. Michael Jackson asked us to keep t...
Read full storyRussell Crowe Was Target of Denzel Washington and Julia Roberts Plot
HOLLYWOOD - Russell Crowe, who should have beaten Denzel Washington like a rented mule in the 2002 Oscar race, was the target of a plot hatched not by al-Qaida, as the besotted Crowe is now telling people, but by Denzel Washington and co-conspirator...
Read full storyESA Finds Beagle - no, really this time!
European Space Agency HQ - Bad Kockupp, Germany. ESA official, Harry Cheeks has just made one of the strangest "Good News - Bad News" announcements in the history of space exploration.
Read full storyMaria Sharapova Tells All !
NEW YORK (AP) Publisher Alfred A. Knopf released the long anticipated book by Maria Sharapova. At a cabbage soup and Gatorade brunch, Mr. Knopf welcomed the triumphant Wimbledon tennis star Sharapova into the publishing world.
Read full storyMel Gibson Shows No Mercy
Mel Gibson's father Hutton Gibson, after stating last week that he believed the Holocaust was "exaggerated" has gone one step farther. The sire of The Passion of Christ's producer now says that he believes World War II was exaggerated as well. " All...
Read full storyJesus Christ Returns to Earth; As Second Coming Actually Occurs, TV Evangelists Offer Insight
Jesus Christ, founder of the Christian religion and son of the monotheistic deity Yahweh, returned to Earth as promised last Tuesday morning. He quickly held a press conference which was broadcast live from New York City to "set the record strai...
Read full storyBush Explodes At Britney's Sex-Bomb Remark
C.I.A. officials were again facing ridicule after they arrested Britney Spears following remarks she allegedly made to security staff at J.F.K. Airport.
Read full storyActor Jeffrey Jones to testify on behalf of Michael Jackson
CALIFORNIA - Actor and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Jones has announced that he will testify for the defense in the Michael Jackson alleged child molestation trial in hopes that jurors and Americans will finally understand "there's nothing w...
Read full storyGeorge Lucas hates 'Revenge of the Sith'
Director George Lucas says that he "couldn't care less" if moviegoers don't like his last and final installment of the Star Wars franchise, ‘Revenge of the Sith'. He spoke last Thursday at the ShoWest convention at Paris/Las Vegas.
Read full storyDIE HARD! Bruce Willis Batters Ant & Dec
Die Hard movie star Bruce Willis became so enraged by British TV star's Ant and Decs questions that he attacked them both in a savage display of violence.
Read full storyCNN's Nancy Grace Bites Jackson Fan Outside Courthouse
SANTA MARIA, Calif. - Court TV anchor Nancy Grace savagely attacked a Michael Jackson fan outside the Santa Maria courthouse today, as jury selection for Jackson's child molestation trial began. Grace, 45, was conducting sidewalk interviews among leg...
Read full storyCharles names Royal Wedding A-List
Clarence House, London; Wednesday 23 March(Associated Mess) - Prince Charles's household has named a glittering array of Global Peace Process luminaries who will be officiating at his forthcoming nuptuals to Camilla Nosy Parker at Slough Cremato...
Read full storyDr Bob Dylan returns to scene of teenager's torment
When Bob Dylan steps up to the stage to accept his degree at St Andrews University, he'll be on tear-soaked ground that witnessed one of his most loyal defences.
Read full storyParis Hilton in Police Standoff
Hotel heiress and amateur porn performer Paris Hilton is reportedly in a standoff with Los Angeles police following a crime spree that began in the wilds of New Jersey where she was working on the Fox TV reality show "The Simpletons."...
Read full story"People Against Gangsta Rap" Program Is Success
Today marks the five year anniversary since the P.A.G.R. (People Against Gangsta Rap) went to congress with a petition to outlaw gangsta rap music.
Read full storyBrad Pitt Infatuated By Young Supermarket Employee
Reason for split with Aniston finally revealed...
Read full storyHumpty Dumpty wins record damages
Wednesday 30th March. London. Humpty Dumpty was today celebrating an historic legal victory after being awarded £10 million in damages at the High Court.
Read full storyPresident Bush seeks out Bobby Fischer for chess lessons
Wadington-As was reported in The Spoof just before his second inauguration, President Bush began studying the game of chess after he "admitted he needed more human intelligence." Unfortunately, it hasn't done the trick-at least not yet.
Read full storyWendy's Introduces Low-Carb Cannibalism
In an effort to maintain their position as a leader in the fast food world, Wendy's is expanding their healthy menu to include human body parts. "We're excited about our new line of 'finger food'", explained Wendy's spok...
Read full storyCamilla to be King
Constitutional experts say that they can see no reason why Camilla Parker-Bowles cannot become the next king.
Read full storyParis, France Changes Name to Avoid Confusion with the Other Paris
The Paris, France City Council voted today to change the name of the city to eliminate ongoing confusion with celebrity Paris Hilton. As Paris Hilton's fame has skyrocketed, the French capital is often the unintended victim of derision and gossip ai...
Read full storyHippie Retirement Homes Gaining Popularity
The retirement home industry has been slow to accommodate the lifestyles of the senior citizens it services. A great many homes offer swing music with dinner and movie classics from the 1930's and 1940's. A steadily growing market segment is now gear...
Read full storyMichael Jackson broke, fix nowhere in sight
HOLLYWOOD - Former superstar and alleged child molester Michael Jackson was rushed to the emergency room again with what doctors ultimately diagnosed as flu-like symptoms. He was immediately admitted to the hospital for observation and treatm...
Read full storyMarijuana Smokers Denounce Bush
Placid marijuana users across the globe have reacted angrily to revelations that the US President, George W. Bush, may have smoked dope.
Read full storyHoward Stern and Martha Stewart Caught on Spy Cam !
CONNECTICUT (AP) Reporters staked out at Martha Stewart's estate caught a glimpse of Howard Stern entering Martha's house at 2 o'clock in the morning. Rumors quickly spread that Howard Stern and Martha Stewart were carrying on some kind of secret rom...
Read full storyAmber Frey Broadway Bound
LOS ANGELES (Rotters) - Amber Frey, the bleached blonde "massage therapist" whose tepid testimony helped entrap and convict adulterous lover Scott Peterson for murder, is bound for Broadway.
Read full storyDisgruntled Hallmark Employees Start Anti-Hallmark Card Company
Kansas City, MO--Enraged and exhausted by the endless task of trying to find something positive to say in a card format about every occasion, several highly talented writers and artists who have worked at Hallmark for a combined total of 120 years ha...
Read full storyMartha Stewart Will Stay in West Virginia!
ALDERSON, WV (AP) Martha Stewart, serving 5 months in Alderson Federal Prison Camp in West Virginia for lying to federal agents, says that she will not return to Connecticut upon her release this March. Speaking now with a noticeable twang in her vo...
Read full storyBill Gates to Honor Queen Elizabeth II
REDMOND WA (AP) Microsoft Corporation's Bill Gates will confer special ceremonial honors upon England's Queen Elizabeth II. At a press conference, King Gates proclaimed: "Her Majesty the Queen will be arriving at my court in Redmond within...
Read full storyParis Hilton: "I like to stay at cheap hotels!"
NEW YORK (AP) Hotel heiress Paris Hilton revealed a short list of her favorite hotels. "You might think that I would choose to stay only at those swanky Hilton hotels wherever I go. It's true that I get a complimentary room at most Hilton's, but...
Read full storyHackers Delay First Day of Spring
The National Weather Service disclosed today that hackers gained entry into their computer systems and modified the first day of spring. Rather than March 20, the first day of spring could now come as late as April. The FBI is investigating the una...
Read full storyMicrosoft to Release Bugs 3.0 for Windows!
Unconfirmed Sources report that Microsoft has finally released the latest version of Bugs, its popular system administrator employment package. The new version of Bugs has been delayed for several months, but is said to the state of the art in bug si...
Read full storyKate Moss To Marry Hobo
Kate Moss, the Supermodel starlet has just announced her engagement to Mister Jack Daniels, (58) a prominent and well known vagrant who resides in King's Cross, London. A desirable area for the fashionable and image conscious homeless. Sporting a...
Read full storyDid Michael Jackson Tribe Molest Hobbit Tribe
WOLLONGONG, Australia - Recent scientific discoveries suggest that the Hobbit tribe, a one-metre-tall race of childlike people who lived on the Indonesian island of Flores between 13,000 and 18,000 years ago, were preyed upon and driven to extinction...
Read full storyKobe Bryant Bobblehead Doll Accused of Rape
CANTON, Ohio - Canton police announced yesterday that they were seeking the newly minted Kobe Bryant bobblehead doll for questioning in connection with the alleged rape of a Los Angeles Lakers cheerleader doll that occurred in the drafting room of th...
Read full storyBush Administration May Use Military Option in Schiavo Case
WASHINGTON (AP) Following the decision by a federal judge in Florida refusing to order the reinsertion of a feeding tube into brain-damaged Terry Schiavo, President George W. Bush is considering his next move.
Read full storyInsurance Companies Remove Antibiotics From Formularies and Substitute Shrimp
Minnetonka, Minneapolis--Led by managed care giant United Healthcare (NASDAQ code: X$%^&*$#%^$^ subscribers), all major HMOS in the United States have removed all antibiotics from their formularies due to rising pharmaceutical prices and the necessit...
Read full storyPope "still not dead" - Vatican
Wednesday 30th March. Thousands of people around the globe are fighting to come to terms with the news tonight that the Pope still isn't dead.
Read full storyQUIZ...Are You A Loser?
It's a Sunday night and once again it's time to kick back those shoes and do what you enjoy most...You A) Have a few tequila shots and hit the town with your friends, you rarely go to work Mondays anyway cause you're always hang over...
Read full storyParis Hilton Fans Strike Back
Fans of Paris Hilton are going on the attack to defend the much-maligned super celebrity. In a coordinated media offensive, a consortium of Paris Hilton fan organizations are taking her case to the American people. The group ran full-page ads in to...
Read full storyUnited Nations to Reintroduce Snakes to Ireland
DUBLIN, Ireland - After 1,600 snake-deprived years, Ireland is preparing for a reunion with its long-lost slithering friends. This spring, some 20,000 adders, asps and vipers will be resettled in the emerald-green fields across the small island nati...
Read full storyCiting God's Will, Tom DeLay Backs Off Terri Schiavo Case
Citing the fact that he prayed for hours over the Terri Schiavo case and that God finally told him he would lose the next election if he didn't keep his stupid mouth shut and continue to try to keep her alive, Texas Republican Tom DeLay has become th...
Read full storyGod Installs Caller ID and Automated Phone Menu
Because of the overwhelming number of prayers received during this year's election, football, and Christmas seasons, God (a/k/a the Supreme Being, Yaweh, Allah, Abba, and the Big Fella) has installed caller ID and an automated phone menu to handl...
Read full storyFirst Arab Man on the Moon is Korean
Manama: Leaders of all major Arab states have demanded an emergency session of the Arab League after it was revealed that the first man on the moon from the Arab world is in fact, a foreign worker. The individual has been named as a Mr. Kim, a Korean...
Read full storyBrian Nichols Given Overdue Book Fine
ATLANTA (AP) The Fulton County Public Library has fined Brian Nichols ten cents for allegedly keeping a book past its due date. Mary Snowden, a worker in the library's circulation department said, "We don't understand why Brian didn't return the book...
Read full storyTerri Schiavo's Tragic Death
Tora Bora, Afghanistan - Terri Schiavo, the 41-year-old Florida woman who has been in a persistent vegetative state for the past 15 years, died today in these rugged mountains located in central Asia. Schiavo was an unexpected addition to a US speci...
Read full story"Odd Couple" Testifies In Michael Jackson trial
It may seem the Michael Jackson trial is getting weirder and weirder each time he enters court. Now, both Jackson and his teenage accuser have gone to the extremes in search for witnesses. A very odd couple have decided to testify for each. Turns...
Read full storyBush: 'Mars Has Weapons of Mass Destruction'
President George W Bush has launched a new campaign against one of Earth's closest planets, Mars. Bush believes that men from Mars have weapons of mass destruction that have not been sanctioned or inspected by the UN. Speaking at a press confere...
Read full storyDaVinci Code Actually Reveals Location of Hoffa
Forget what you think you know about Jimmy Hoffa being buried under the end zone at Giants Stadium. Christians studying "The DaVinci Code" have discovered the book and ancient beliefs do not actually pertain to the history of Jesus Christ.
Read full storyGatorade Corporation to sue local soft drink manufacturer over trademark infringement
Spokesman calls rookie entrepreneur's concept "morally repulsive".
Read full storyQwest ups offer for MCI to $100B, then immediately files for bankruptcy protection
DENVER - Qwest bumped up its offer for the outright purchase of MCI to $100 Billion dollars. The offer, which exceeds the one recently made by Verizon by a factor of 15 times, was creating a stir around the MCI offices in New York just about cocktail...
Read full storyPrince Charles has Feeding Tube Removed
Prince Charles has had his feeding tube removed. The tube which was inserted soon after his birth was removed late last night after Law Lords ruled it "Constitutionally unsafe and morally wrong to take no action."...
Read full storyNew SAT Is 100% Britney Spears Questions
High school students taking the revamped SAT exam this week were surprised to find that the test focused entirely on Britney Spears material. Rather than sections on Math, Critical Reading, and Writing, the exam only includes questions related to th...
Read full story'Variety' selects Lance Ito as new Judge in Michael Jackson's trial
Santa Maria-Lance Ito, who rose to fame over 10 years ago as the judge in "The People vs. O.J. Simpson" has been selected by the Editor of ‘Variety' as the new judge in the Michael Jackson trial. The change had been rumored throughout Hollywood for...
Read full storyMicrosoft Stamps to be Sold Worldwide
Bill Gates is attempting to recieve more money by releasing his all-new range of commercial stamps, called "Microsoft Stamps", worldwide. The new stamps have a variety of images on them, including his own face, the Microsoft Windows logo, a...
Read full storyNew York Times signs Ward Churchill
NEW YORK (AP) - Controversial academic Ward Churchill has been signed by the famous media company, The New York Times.
Read full storyStag Night arrangements for Pretender's wedding
Clarence House, London; Tuesday 29 March - (Associated Mess) More details of Prince Charles's forthcoming nuptuals are emerging as his official spokesman at Clarenece House confirmed today that newly-released pop music mogul, convicted sex offe...
Read full storyBush blames porn for Columbine massacre
After much debate over the past six years about what drove Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold to do what they did on April 20th, 1999, George W Bush has come to a conclusion.The Spoof got a chance to have a brief interview with the president Friday while...
Read full storyElvis is Alive!
Yes folks, it is true! Elvis Presley, The King of Rock and Roll is alive and well and living in Bognor Regis, U.K.
Read full story"Shark Attack" Obesity Treatment Works Wonders
A recent study indicates that millions of obese Americans could achieve significant weight loss if they could only overcome their fear of sharks. Scientists report that subjects on the "Shark Attack Diet" lost up to 40 pounds in a single treatment.
Read full storyGeorge W. Bush, Michael Jackson, Paris Hilton Keywords Recalled by Google
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. - A spokesperson for the news division of Google Inc. announced yesterday that "due to excessive traffic" Google News had recalled the keywords George W. Bush, Michael Jackson, and Paris Hilton. Any attempts to search the...
Read full storyPrince Charles too Wasted to Sign Pre-nuptial Agreement
London-March 27. Friends, family, and ex-financial advisors have all repeatedly asked Prince Charles to sign a pre-nuptial agreement prior to his marriage to Camilla Parker-Bowles. "I will not sign any bloody ‘pre-nuptial' agreement," said Charles,...
Read full storyLondon Taxi Drivers' Brains Grow from Doing Their Jobs
LONDON, England -- A study in London has presented some very surprising results about the size of the rear of a London taxi driver's brain.
Read full storyPakistan's F16 purchase is 1 millionth for DefenseDepartmentSales.com
The Pentagon.-"Jeff Bezos had better watch out!" ejaculated Secretary of Defense Don Rumsfeld today as he answered questions from the press about Pakistan's purchase of U.S. made F-16s.
Read full storyUnited States to Invade Kenya
The Bush administration announced today that it plans to invade Kenya, winner of the 2004 Nobel Peace Prize, in search of weapons of mass destruction or WMD.
Read full storyMartha Stewart Changed Radically in Prison
KATONAH, N.Y. - The trim, dreadlocked Martha Stewart who arrived home from prison this morning is radically diferent from the soft, frumpy-looking woman she was when she began her five-month sentence last October. Stewart told reporters as she left p...
Read full storyNASA Releases Images of New Spacecraft
Today NASA released images of its new prototype spacecraft, the X-99. They estimate is will cost three billion dollars and take five years to develop. Experts predict it will end up like all the other NASA programs by running over budget by $100 bill...
Read full storyBelmarsh detainees' release makes room for Robert Maxwell's daughter
London, 12 March (Rioters) - Judge Herve Stephan, the French investigating magistrate who probed the 1997 death of Princess Diana, said today that the recent spring clean at London's top terrorist detention centre Belmarsh Jail has freed up muc...
Read full storyBush & Berlusconi Make Up Differences! They Will Attend Charles And Camilla Wedding!
In an unprecedented show of political reunion, Bush and Berlusconi have put aside their differences of opinion regarding the US and Italian international clash on driving techniques in order to show support for the young couple, Charles and Camill...
Read full storyMario Clad?
Many people like me like a good game of mario. But things arn't that smooth anymore. Mario creators Nintendo have released over 100,000 exclusive "Super Mario Clad" Carts onto the shelves of american game stores everywhere. The name &q...
Read full storyThousands Of Birds Infected With Nasty Strain Of "Human Flu"
The international veterninary council has been placed on red alert after it was revealed thousands of birds in South East Asia have recently been infected with a virus known as Homo Sapian or "Human" flu. The flu has spread rapidly throughout Norther...
Read full storyCongress allocates $417 Billion for Pentagon
In one of the largest real estate deals ever consummated in Washington, Congress has allocated $417.5 Billion dollars for the Pentagon. "We're really, really tired of paying rent on a building as big as the Pentagon," said House Ways and Means Commi...
Read full storySpring Break Binge Drinking Causes Florida Alcohol Shortage
Heavier than expected binge drinking by spring break partiers has lead to alcohol shortages throughout Florida. Excessive consumption of spirits is at the core of spring break festivities for the millions of college students who flock to Florida eac...
Read full storyGlastonbury Faithful Await - Eavis Sure to Deliver
It won't only be those who love Jesus up bright and early this Sunday morning. Thousands of recreational drug devotees will join them in the hunt -- not to let the son of God the father into their hearts -- but to lay their hashish coated finger...
Read full storyMinnesota School Boy Granted ‘Right To Die' By Federal Judge, US Leads World In Human Rights
Jeff Weise was slightly upset about his rifle range and hand gun control school grades and so quite rightly, contacted the local Federal Judge so that he could have legal permission to exercise ‘his right to die'. The Federal Judge was bound b...
Read full storyOsma Bin Laden Offers Charles and Camilla Safe Haven Church Wedding
-Lost Far From The Maddening Crowds In Pakistan?...
Read full storyHave You Had An Accident?
“Have you had an accident?” When we hear these words emanating from our televisions, we know what’s about to follow. “If you’ve had an accident or fall either at home of at work you could be entitled to compensation. Just call Injury Lawyers Direct and we’ll see if you’re entitled to a no win no fee claim.” These adverts are everywhere. These days it seems as if there are only two types of adverti...
Read full storyPorridge Surfing Revival
Porridge surfing, once the craze of the late 20's and 30's in Canada and mid-Western America, has started to make a modest comeback.
Read full storySiebel Ready For The Big Time
In an exclusive interview granted to this reporter, Tom Siebel, shy and reclusive pint-sized chairman of Siebel Systems Inc, outlines his company’s history and hopes for the future. “We’re ready for the big time now” says Tom… The Customer Relationship Management software world was set alight recently by the news that Siebel 7.8 would soon be on general availability. This latest version o...
Read full storyBig Bird Battered by Bullies
SESAME Street hero Big Bird has been forced into hiding after being attacked by anti-bird flu vigilantes, many terrified by the prospect of a global pandemic.
Read full story"I thought 40A was her bra size" sobs Blunkett
London, 7 March - (Associated Mess) New twists have emerged today in the latest chapter that is the fiasco of ex-UK Home Secretary David Blunkett's love life, fuelling the controversy that he may have been set up in an elaborate CIA-style MK-UL...
Read full storyProstitution Awareness Week
Put your Daughters on the Game Week is celebrating its 11th Anniversary during the week commencing 7th March 2005 and will once again be rolled out across the country. During this week the organisers will proudly welcome predominantly girls,...
Read full storyFatal Car Switch Led to Diana Death - 3 Hour Journey After Tunnel Was Just Too Boring
Diana, Princess of Wales, had to switch cars after a crash at Pont d'Alma tunnel in the French capital in Paris in August 1997 when driven by chauffeur Henri Paul. Unfortunately, there was only a state of the art ultra high speed French Pa...
Read full storyPope Skips Appearance at Window
Rome - Every Easter since the dawn of time Popes have recognized the celebration of Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection. Some have held large masses, some have marked the occasion with festive parties, while others celebrate with sincere an...
Read full storyGeorge W. Bush Targets Chicken Feet
WASHINGTON - President George W. Bush told reporters at a hastily called press conference this morning that health officials have launched a nationwide search for boneless chicken feet-an Asian delicacy that was smuggled into the United States recent...
Read full storyJohn Paul II Blames Radical Feminists for Lack of Brothels
Vatican City, Saturday (Rioters) - As the temperature soared in Italy yesterday the Pope launched his annual mid-summer tirade against women after a delegation from the Curia bemoaning the lack of prostitutes on the streets of Rome called on His Who...
Read full storyPope sacrifices twelve-year old girl
After much consideration over the last few years the pope has had a twelve-year-old girl sacrificed in the name of his life. At approximately 1:37 pm, on Sunday afternoon she was hung from a rope, until her death.
Read full storyTelephone "Time" lady passes away
Betty-Lou Lipbaum, better known as the "time lady" who possessed what many have called the "best known voice in the world", passed away this morning at the age of 81.
Read full storyBush nominates Bolton as US Ambassassador to the UN
New York (Spoof International News) In a move that has surprised pundits, nay-sayers, dooms-dayers and other nattering nabobs, President Bush today nominated Michael Bolton as the new US ambassador to the UN, replacing John Negroponte, his new "Intel...
Read full storyEuropeans to Start Sleeping with Americans Again
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice announced today that European citizens would once again be sleeping with Americans. Just back from a tour of Europe, Rice said she had "personal assurances" from European leaders that the unofficial sex ban on Amer...
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