Pope sacrifices twelve-year old girl

Funny story written by Angus Denandra

Tuesday, 22 March 2005

image for Pope sacrifices twelve-year old girl
The Pope at the sacrifice on Sunday

After much consideration over the last few years the pope has had a twelve-year-old girl sacrificed in the name of his life. At approximately 1:37 pm, on Sunday afternoon she was hung from a rope, until her death.

As crowds gathered to see this amazing spiritual event, police officers struggled to keep them back.

" It was like one big pile of joy. Everyone just wanted to rip the guts right out of her body", said Norman Targoni, a long time member of the Roman Catholic Church.

Another spectator told The Spoof, " There was a complete moment of silence. There was music playing, the pope had front row seats, it was all just sort of peaceful. Suddenly everything stopped, there was sudden silence. The pope got help from three bodyguards, stood up and screamed, "Rejoice"! From that point on all heck broke loose. The girl was hanged and people began running at her with big brown bricks in their hands. Soon they were smashing her with these bricks and making great amounts of noise."

Peace icon George W. Bush said, " We need something like this in the USA of America. The pope will live on!"

The Roman Catholic Church hopes for the pope to live an extra two years because of the sacrifice.

The Bush Administration is making arrangements for some similar sacrifice for the life of Terri Schiavo that will take place sometime this summer. This sacrifice will help Schiavo with her struggle and give her a longer life and will be taxed by the Bush administration on pay per view.

" We don't know if it will be with a twelve year old girl", said Bush at a news conference Monday morning, " but it will defiantly be with an African American of some age. "

God said Monday afternoon at lunch, " I really hope this one is on paper view. I did not get to see the last one because I was punishing some sinners for smoking marijuana, but I'm going to try my hardest not to miss this one."

The Pope's condition has worsened since the sacrifice but he hopes for it to get better soon.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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