Written by Morgan Truce

Monday, 7 March 2005

image for Howard Stern and Martha Stewart Caught on Spy Cam !
Howard and Martha holed up in Connecticut

CONNECTICUT (AP) Reporters staked out at Martha Stewart's estate caught a glimpse of Howard Stern entering Martha's house at 2 o'clock in the morning. Rumors quickly spread that Howard Stern and Martha Stewart were carrying on some kind of secret romance. Spoof reporter Morgan Truce placed a phone call to Howard Stern's cell phone: "Hello Howard… I know I just saw you sneaking into Martha Stewart's house… what in the world is going on Howard?"

Howard Stern: "I really didn't think I would be able to keep this a secret very long. The truth is… I've been attracted to Martha Stewart for a long, long time. I saw those pictures of her on the cover of Vogue when she was a college student. She was so hot. Whenever I see her, I still dream about those pictures. I was just a guy who couldn't get a date, and here was this gorgeous college girl. I'm getting kind of excited right now just thinking about that picture of her in the camel hair coat…"

Morgan Truce: "But Howard, Martha Stewart is a convicted felon now…"

Howard Stern: "Yeah, that makes it even more exciting for me! Here… Martha just got out of the shower… I know you probably want to talk to her too. One second…"

Martha Stewart: "Can't you reporters leave us alone? I just spent five months in the slammer down in &^%^*ing West Virginia with a bunch of horny women. I spent all that time dreaming about how I was going to get Howard Stern in the sack when I got out. Now I have to spend many months in home confinement wearing this damned ankle bracelet. OK… I want you all to know that I'm not going to leave my house for even a minute. Howard and I are going to stay in here together for the next few months. We are going to have a lot of fun with each other acting out all of our darkest fantasies. I just sent out for a few cases of whipped cream and rubbing oil. Howard Stern is simply the perfect man for me right now.... Oh, Howard... stop licking my bracelet... I've got to go..."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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