President Bush seeks out Bobby Fischer for chess lessons

Funny story written by Chief Cheese

Thursday, 24 March 2005

image for President Bush seeks out Bobby Fischer for chess lessons
Mr. Bush seated front and center in Chess class

Wadington-As was reported in The Spoof just before his second inauguration, President Bush began studying the game of chess after he "admitted he needed more human intelligence." Unfortunately, it hasn't done the trick-at least not yet.

"I'm having a hard time with it," said Mr. Bush. "I thought it was a lot like checkers but it isn't at all. Some of the pieces have different rank. To me that's confusing."

After his Wednesday morning intelligence debriefing from "that dome that I appointed a while back," Mr. Bush decided that his chess game could be vastly improved if he could get in contact with Bobby Fischer, the fugitive Chess Champ who is one of America's most wanted. In what will probably be considered a huge breach of intelligence, the Spoof has decided to publish an e-mail thread between Mr. Bush and Mr. Fischer, for the edification of its Chess playing audience. Readers be forewarned: delete this article and the following e-mail thread immediately after reading.

From: "George W. Bush" <>
To: "Bobby Fischer" <>

Hello Bobby-I've always been a big fan of yours. I used to read your dossier when my daddy was chief of the CIA. I was thrilled when you beat Boris Spastic. That was great!
I was so proud of America. Now I want to ask you if you can help a fellow American again. I'm trying to learn Chess. Are you available? Your record will be totally wiped clean and the IRS will totally back off if you can help me out.

Thanks.-George W. Bush

From: "Bobby Fischer" <>
To: "George W. Bush" <>

Bush-I don't know how you got my email address but there is no way I would teach you chess. Do not e-mail me again. Now I'm forced to change my address because of you.

From: "George W. Bush" <>
To: "Bobby Fischer" <>

That's OK-we can figure your e-mail address lickity split, Bobby. I had the best minds at CIA spend the night on it. But anyway, OK. Sorry I asked. Have a nice time in Iceland. I think I'll give up on Chess. Maybe reading the Post during my morning constitutional is the way to go. I know Don does it and he's pretty smart. He spends a lot more time in there though.

-Your Friend George Bush

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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