There were 55 spoof news stories published in July 2003. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Vader spanked Japanese woman
Intergalactic hussy, Darth Vader, appeared in court on Tuesday charged with indecently spanking a japanese woman. The incident, recreated in the picture shown here, is said to have undergone surgery after one lightsaber strike too many.
Read full storyPeter Stringfellow to Loan Libido
Peter Stringfellow is to loan his libido to Japan in an attempt to halt it's declining birth rate, it was announced yesterday.
Read full storyTeletubbies under FBI investigation
Favourite show to kids and adults alike, the Teletubbies are currently under FBI investigation due to allegations of releasing national security information to terrorist organisations and underworld cultists.
Read full storyEurovision Thong Contest
Following the humiliating 'nul points defeat in the Eurovision Song Contest, the cunning British have changed the rules to make the competition fairer.
Read full storyFred Dibnah Creates World's First Steam-Powered Sex Toy
In an exclusive interview with TheSpoof.com, steam guru, Mr. Fred Dibnah, has revealed his latest contraption, the worlds first steam powered sex-toy.
Read full storySaddam Hussein: Game for a Laugh
Saddam Hussein today revealed that he was just in the dictatorship business for a laugh and didn't mean anyone any harm, really.
Read full storySexed-Up Dossier : Exclusive
TheSpoof.com has acquired exclusive access to the fully "sexed-up" dossier, as amended by Alistair Campbell MP.
Read full storyHigh Street Stores to Create Designer Babies
It has been revealed that high street stores will be able to create designer babies. High street stores, Marks and Spencer, Debenhams and GAP will be offering customers the chance to have a baby while you shop.
Read full storyPenguins - I hates 'em!
I don't really know what it is that I truly loathe about Penguins. I think it's partially due to comments like: "Awww...but the itty-bitty pengy-win is sooo cute!". Hmmm - you have to worry about comments like that. Given half the chance, that penguin would have you on your back, spreading your liver across a Ritz cracker before you could say "Mary Poppins". I gu...
Read full storyPotter Creator Arrested
Creator of Harry Potter, J. K. Rowling was arrested at lunch today on a charge of causing death by misadventure of a group of school children at their primary school.
Read full storyCelebrity Witchhunt - The TV Show
I demand a new reality TV show called "Celebrity Witchhunt". In the show, possibly fronted by Davina Macall, we would have two teams - Team A: made up of B-list celebrities...
Read full storyHow emails can land you in trouble
The BBC have given the go-ahead for TheSpoof to create a web-documentary, studying the effects of email in the workplace and, in particular, how they can land you in hot water. We began the investigation by asking the general public in the street about any unfortunate incidents they had encountered. We quickly found that up to 25% of you had been fired from your jobs for inappropriate email...
Read full storyProduct Recall: FIALFA COUPE (2.0 TURBO PLUS )
It has come to our attention that the above model may be slightly unreliable, and not function as intended when we drew up the plans one sunny Italian day during a wine-soaked 4 hour lunch. Occupants are in no way at risk, but as a precaution, your car should NOT be driven. FIALFA SA and their agents are not responsible for death, serious injury or other minor inconveniences caused in the...
Read full storyGrand of Duke of York on Trial
At the old Bailey today, the grand old duke of york, or "Dukey" as his chums in the war office have to come to know him, is currently on trial for war crimes.
Read full storyMicrosoft - bringing the Apocalypse closer to home
Psychologists have finally proved that Microsoft (hereafter known as Evil-M) are true; it really is destroying humankind as we know it. The frustration, which occurs when the computers crash, can well up, leading us to have rotten days, taking it out on others, leading to overall low morale. This can also lead to road rage, which in turn damages the environment and causes accidents, which a...
Read full storyStar Wars Shocker!
Recent behind-the-scenes footage shows that there is more about the Star wars characters that meets the eye.
Read full storySkiddy Sid discovers Arsetrology
Sidney Skiddington, a top pathologist, amazed the psychic community when he revealed his amazing new method of fortune telling.
Read full storyPenguins - the verdict
Recently here at TheSpoof, there has been some talk -- negative talk, I must divulge -- of a small breed of flightless Antarctic birds known as Penguins. As a distinguished and well-thought-of writer (by my mum), I feel this is an important theme which must be continued; a matter that must be discussed - and a case that, ultimately, should be closed. Therefore I have decided to proc...
Read full storyHopping good for the soul
Government officials are said to be considering new plans to make hopping into a national sport and past-time. Hopping has spent many years on the side-line as a childrens game in the form of hop-scotch. However, studies have shown that not only is h...
Read full storySaddam Hussein Never Existed
In an interview with TheSpoof, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf has revealed some shocking information that has sent shockwaves throughout the world. If the infamous "Comical Ali" is to believed, Saddam Hussein, the alleged dictator, was never born...
Read full storyAl-Jizzera Receives Shocking Video
The Arab telly station Al-Jizzera received a tape believed to be from former Bullseye presenter/dictator Jim Bowen. The Americans denounced the film as "shocking, pure evil".
Read full storyA Burney, California monster
It has come to our attention that there is an unknown 12 foot tall creature lurking in the streets of Burney, California.
Read full storyShakespeare had a problem with his feelings
New evidence has emerged from documents found in the British Library, that suggest prolific and brilliant playwright, William Shakespeare was unable to smell very well.
Read full storyMoto-Pez® - Mobile Phone Future
The vision of the future for mobile phone handsets has been revealed by Motorola today.
Read full storyKewell move sets Liverpool alive!
Liverpool supporters and players alike are said to be heavily overestimating their chances of turning the Premier League on its head after the successful purchase of Harry Kewell. Said one Liverpudlian:...
Read full storyArcher to be released: police fear for public
Jeffrey Archer, the disgraced peer, is about to be released from prison within days. Police are warning the public, particularly old women, not to approach him. The former cabinet minister is expected to go straight to a halfway house near Buckingham...
Read full storyActors Stage Indefinite Strike
Equity, the actors union, shocked the Art world by staging an indefinite strike.
Read full storyHospitals see stars
The Government has published it's Star ratings for hospitals. The stars range from zero stars (this hospital is full of infections and riddled with bureacracy) to three stars (this hospital is riddled with more infections and full of mind...
Read full storyFirm sued for illegal use of Harry Potter copyright
Liverpudlian arts and crafts firm, "Harry Pottery", have...
Read full storyWoman breaks promise about coming round the mountain
Shelley Bishop, 43, recently broke a promise to her nine year old niece by driving through a newly made tunnel at Stanbourne mountain, instead of 'coming round' it, as she had otherwise indicated.
Read full storyMillionaire Wants to Win Lottery so Others Can't
G. Jeffrey Chambers III, a self-made millionaire from Palm Beach, FL, has been playing the lottery for five months now. His motives, though, are different from those of most lottery participants.
Read full storyOld people aren't dying like they used to!
A strange phenomenon has gripped the western coast of Britain - a phenomenon that scientists are at pains to resolve. It appears that the elderly in the area are living forever and not snuffing it. A scientist egg-head from the University of Bristol,...
Read full storyBetty Swollock receives amusing phone call
Until recently, the large neo-Georgian cathedral had always been the centre focus of the lovely and tiny city of Harchcaster. That is, until Roy Masterstone, 13, found an amusing entry in the local Thompson telephone directory. Roy, sat at his school...
Read full storyWigan Waster's Musical Shocker
Les, a useless no-hoper was amazed to find that a West End musical was being staged in celebration of his life.
Read full storyFun and Games End For Young Boy
Billy Jenkins had been warned by his mother on numerous occassions: "Billy, it's all fun and games until someone gets their eye poked out!" Never one to listen to his mother, 8-year old Billy continued his rambunctious ways. Now, the...
Read full storyPeter Jackson's Trip Into the Past
Peter Jackson, or Just Jackass amongst friends has made a startling revelation in the early hours of this morning concerning the epic Lord of the Rings saga.
Read full storyHe Sold His Soul On Ebay
So you've got no money, no job, and nothng but a rusty old escort and your computer. Well for one man this was true untill three days ago he sold his soul on ebay.
Read full storyBlack OAP dies from natural causes - racially motivated say police
An African-origin pensioner, currently not serving any time in prison despite having murdered five white children in his fifties, has died from natural causes aged 82. Police say that the death was almost certainly racially motivated as it ocurred i...
Read full storyNo More Points for NFL
Washington, D.C., July 10, 2003 -- In a stunning move National Football League commissioner Paul Tagliabue unveiled a new plan on Thursday to do away with the existing point-scoring system.
Read full storyChurch Refutes Gay Claims
Anglican Church officials today denied that it ‘sexed-up' the Bible to include evidence that homosexuality was wrong.
Read full story"Fruity" language looked down upon by elderly
In a new survey published by the government, results have shown that the elderly tend to get upset by "fruity" or "bad" language. One elderly chap we found, agreed: "It's disgusting, all these young lads with their caps o...
Read full storyShock Harry Potter Revelations
Following the massively successful release of the fifth Harry Potter novel, 'The Delayed Phoenix Order', Joanne K. Roald Rune Rowling today revealed shocking new plot twists for book six. Underaged drinking, drug experimentation and teenage s...
Read full storyGore Elected President
Nashville, TN, July 10, 2003 - Former vice president Al Gore announced plans today to abandon his bid for the nation's top office. Instead, he has been elected president of Alticor, Inc. (formerly Amway Corp.) based in Ada, Michigan.
Read full storyGod admits: "I'm Gay"
In an unprecedented move that has sent ripples through all denominations of the Christian faith, God, almighty creator and CEO of Christianity Inc., has officially 'come out' and admitted that he is a homosexual.
Read full storyLara Croft - Out of the Tomb
Lara Croft has been shown on our computer screens as a large-chested, larger-than-life woman, who will stop at nothing to rob ancient tombs and monuments of their jewels and artifacts, often displayed in her gallery back home.
Read full storyLara Croft - out of the tomb part 2 - The Croft
By judging Lara's life, one would expect there to be training rooms and displays of her stolen treasures. This is true for the majority of the house, but alas her bedroom hides deeper secrets...
Read full storyDumbing down of TV reaches pandemic proportions (that means really really big)
Scientists today released their findings of long-term project conceived to quantify dumbing-down by the world's media.
Read full storyHenman defeated; blames opponent
Tim Henman, the tennis-er, has finally been defeated in this year's Wimbledon tournament. Henman, who despite not having a very good voice is UK No. 1 (sorry), has laid the blame of his hugely unexpected defeat upon the shoulders of his...
Read full storyEXCLUSIVE - Undercover man reveals truth: Women using periods as excuse
Hot on the heels of the announcement that "Women to come with warning" is long-awaited proof that women actually feel normal during their monthly period...
Read full storyHarry's Haunted Underpants
Young Harry Brown shocked his school teacher when he told her of his haunted underpants.
Read full storyUS In New Global Domination Bid
The United States of America today revealed the next scary stage in it's plan for global domination.
Read full storyPrescott Punishes Pregnant Prima donna's
John Prescott, the plain-speaking Deputy Prime Minister, enraged women's rights groups when he announced new laws limiting decibel levels, during childbirth.
Read full story