The Power of Prayer The footballer stood and crossed his chest God was on his side He looked up to the heavens Where angels do abide He ran up to take the penalty Filled with religious pride He scuffed the ball, fell on his arse And kicked…
A man who, during a telephone conversation with his mother back in February, made the solid assertion that their local football team already had enough points so that they could not possibly be relegated, has admitted that his confidence at that time…
Calls for the sacking of Hull City boss, Grant McCann, seem to have gone unheeded in the wake of the team's embarrassing 8-0 drubbing at the hands of Wigan Athletic on Tuesday night, but there was a rapid response in another direction, when Maureen t…
Leeds, England - James Muddfield, 36, is suing his friend, Peter Swagwich, over a childish prank which led to some very severe consequences. "It happened right after Arsenal's embarrassing 5-0 loss to Chelsea on Saturday night. Pete and I had a wa…
British teams are considering name changes in response to sensitive public opinion. ‘Public opinion is like a powder keg,' said the Arsenal chairman. 'If we get this wrong, the result could be explosive.’ Manchester City’s new owner, Billy O’L…
It was a difficult night for all connected with Hull City last night, as the Tigers bumbled, stumbled, and tumbled to an extraordinary 8-0 defeat at the hands of fellow-strugglers, Wigan Athletic, but boss, Grant McCann was still able to pick a posit…
Since a brief spell in the Premier League in 2017, Huddersfield Town have performed atrociously. They are at risk of slipping into the third tier of English football, the optimistically named Division One. Fans largely agree about why the club has…
A baby boy who was born early on Monday morning and whose teenaged parents saddled it with a stupid name, has, this morning, been given another name, or rather, he's been re-named, with an even more stupid and particularly obscure name from the world…
SAO PAULO, Brazil – One of the greatest soccer players to ever kick a soccer ball, has just become the president of one of Brazil’s most prestigious soccer teams. The owner of the Sao Paulo Red Grasshoppers, Senor Ricardo de Ricardo, is thrilled t…
It's always a blissful experience when babies are born, with parents gazing lovingly at their new addition, its beautiful eyes, adorable nose, little fingers and toes, and, in order to cause maximum embarrassment to its grandparents, wondering what k…
LOS ANGELES – Javier Hernandez Balcazar, better known as Chicharito (the Little Pea), recently told the Los Angeles Sports-Chronicle that he is seriously thinking about purchasing his old team, Manchester United. Chicharito, who owns a chain of Hu…
CARPINTERIA, California – Soccer great, David Beckham, has just stated that he cannot get soccer out of his blood. Beckham played for the L.A. Galaxy between 2007 and 2012. The retired superstar was recently approached by the athletic director for…
NEW YORK CITY – The coach of the Trump University Titans football team, has just stated that that they are cancelling the 2020 collegiate football season. Coach Bilbo “Ding Dong” Shasta, 74, stated that the reason is not because 24 of the players…
With Covid-19 slowing its murderous dance across the world, sports are beginning to start up again, albeit with no spectators. Every sport has been affected in its own unique way: rugby teams, for example, have had to cut down on throwing dwarves aro...
You couldn't make it up! Only two weeks after the official restart of the Premier League season, and Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has said that he wants to leave Old Trafford in the summer! Roundly criticised for his inept performa…
Police in Norfolk have said they have spoken to the Manchester United captain and England defender, Harry Maguire, about an incident in which they say a fan was abducted outside Carrow Road after the FA Cup quarter-final tie between Norwich and Unit…
After the most bizarre Merseyside Derby in living memory at the weekend, players of both Liverpool and Everton say they were "nervous to start with", but became increasingly so when they couldn't concentrate because of the relaxing tunes being played...
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