Harry Maguire Wants To Leave Manchester United

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 1 July 2020

image for Harry Maguire Wants To Leave Manchester United
Ruing his decision to join United: Harry Maguire

You couldn't make it up!

Only two weeks after the official restart of the Premier League season, and Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has said that he wants to leave Old Trafford in the summer!

Roundly criticised for his inept performance in their opening match against Tottenham at White Hart Lane, Maguire has told close friends he wishes he had never joined United from Leicester in an £80million deal in July 2019.

And, despite scoring the goal at Norwich which took Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's men into the FA Cup semi-finals, and a mouth-watering tie against Chelsea, Maguire says he's had enough.

According to one 'source':

"He hates Manchester United. Always has. Calls them 'Melchester'. Hates them with a Yorkshireman's passion. Not easy to get over that."

Another said:

"He says that the money's good, but he just hates Mancs. Despises them. And the retarded way they talk, like they've always got a nose full of snot."

Maguire, himself, refused to comment, but a 'House For Sale' notice in the star's front garden has only enhanced the completely made-up rumour.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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