Hull City Tea Lady Given The Boot

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 16 July 2020

image for Hull City Tea Lady Given The Boot
Grizzled and weather-beaten, Maureen has provided piss-weak tea since 1904

Calls for the sacking of Hull City boss, Grant McCann, seem to have gone unheeded in the wake of the team's embarrassing 8-0 drubbing at the hands of Wigan Athletic on Tuesday night, but there was a rapid response in another direction, when Maureen the Tea Lady was shown the door, and given her P45.

Hull have won only once in their last 18 outings, and Tuesday's debacle was the final straw for management, and Maureen, who has been a loyal and trusted 'masher of tea' at the club since it was founded in 1904, was told her 'services' were no longer required.

The club's owners, the father-and-son team of Assem and Ehab Allam, have made other sweeping changes.

Also cast adrift were Bob and Ted, two of the turnstile operatives, Jack and Alf, two car park attendants, and Tom, Dick and Harry, all ball boys.

Maureen was philosophical about her sacking. She said:

"Fucking Allams! Ah wunt marnd, but the onny pay me half a crown a month!"

McCann, who has been spared the chop, until at least the end of the season, said:

"Her tea is as weak as piss, and almost as weak as our defence!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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