Man Admits He Was Wrong About Football Team

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 19 July 2020

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A man who, during a telephone conversation with his mother back in February, made the solid assertion that their local football team already had enough points so that they could not possibly be relegated, has admitted that his confidence at that time was misplaced, and that he was wrong.

Moys Kenwood, 57, had been speaking to his mum, Val, on the phone in mid-February, when his team, Hull City, were in the middle of a slump in form which had seen them drop from just oytside the play-off places to the lower half of the table.

His mother, a season ticket holder, had voiced her concerns, saying that people around her in the stadium were talking about 'relegation'. Kenwood called this "nonsense", and said that the Tigers already had enough points, and were bound to pick up more.

Poor results followed, and City's slide continued, arrested only by the Coronavirus shutdown, before continuing once more, after the football programme re-started in June.

Last Tuesday, the Tigers were walloped 8-0 by fellow strugglers, Wigan Athletic.

Yesterday's 1-0 defeat by Luton Town hasn't quite confirmed City's relegation to League One, but, if they don't win next week at Cardiff, their fate will be sealed, and the coffin on Kenwood's earlier optimistic prediction nailed shut.

He said:

"I have to admit I was wrong, and that me mam knows more about football than I do."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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