HOUSTON – The president and his daughter, Ivanka, made a quick trip on Air Force One down to Houston to meet with the owner of the Houston Astros Jim “Whooping” Crane. Crane, who purchased the team in 2011 for $465 million, said that the president...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president’s chief counsel, Kellyanne Conway, has just informed the White House media about a decision that POTUS has just made. Conway informed the press that the president has decided that, after 67½ years of the presidenti...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Since President Donald Trump will no longer be able to have his never-ending political campaign pep rallies, he has become very moody, downright depressed, and is stress-eating (as many as five Big Macs per day). He actually wan...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Close friends of first daughter, Ivanka Trump, have said that, lately, she has not been her normal, bubbly, blonde self. One very close friend who has known her since they were both in the second grade, said that Ivanka is alway...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Trump recently met with his top adviser, Kellyanne Conway, and his daughter, Ivanka, and they have decided that it will probably be in the best interests of the country if the 2020 Presidential Election is cancelled. POTUS state...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president was having lunch at a District of Columbia McDonalds with Scott Baio and Tucker Carlson. A reporter with RumorLand News asked him about the gossip that he has a tattoo of his daughter, Ivanka. Trump angrily pu...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Two of the White House maids have disclosed to a reporter with The Washington Globe Express that the huge mansion at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue has run out of toilet paper. The two White House maids, who did not want to give their...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump called in to a popular GOP radio show and said he wants everyone to stop panicking regarding the Coronavirus. He stated that as long as you wash your hands, and you don’t grab a woman by the you-know-what, and yo...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A source inside the White House divulged that President Trump has been seen stressing out more and more with each passing day. The stock market continues to set records for losses, and as Nancy “Cupcakes” Pelosi said to CNN's Do...
All My Women and This Nonsense #Metoo Movement I've always said, 'If you need Viagra, you're probably with the wrong girl.' Donald Trump Now Available on Amazon Love me or hate me, Donald Trump is a man who is certain about what he wants, and s...
CALEXICO, California – Before President Trump left for his trip to India, he and Ivanka visited the California border town of Calexico. Trump had flown there to find out why his beautiful perfect border wall has already fallen down a total of 19 t...
Too Many People Now available on Amazon If you're weak - which some people would like you to be - if you're really, really pathetically weak, the country's going to be overrun with millions of people. Donald Trump See, there are just too many p...
NEW YORK CITY – The nation’s first daughter, Ivanka Trump, appeared with Stephen Colbert on his late night talk show. She was introduced as President Trump’s oldest and most favorite daughter. Amazingly enough, out of the 200 audience members, onl...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House insider has just told a reporter for The Baltimore Beacon Star that “Trumper The Humper” is so afraid that Roger Stone is going to flip on him, that, for the past week, he has been peeing in his pants. The White Ho...
CALEXICO, California – The president’s first and most conceited daughter, Ivanka, was campaigning for her daddy out in Calexico, California. She was asked about the fact that her father lies more times per day than the entire populations of France...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – RumorLand News is reporting that Donald Trump has turned into a rabid, orange-colored pit bull, and is writing nasty tweets about William Barr. The man who Ariana Grande calls “El Orange Estupido”, said that Barr’s recent 65-pou...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Baltimore Beacon-Star is reporting that a White House insider has stated that Vice-President Pence will not be on the GOP’s presidential ticket. An unnamed source said that Trump told one of the White House maids, whose init...
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