WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Baltimore Beacon-Star is reporting that a White House insider has stated that Vice-President Pence will not be on the GOP’s presidential ticket.
An unnamed source said that Trump told one of the White House maids, whose initials are W.F.Y. that he cannot stand Pence, because he is as exciting as a clump of New Jersey seaweed.
POTUS noted that he has decided to name his 38-year-old award-winning perfect daughter Ivanka to be his running mate.
“The Covfefe Turd," as Chrissy Teigen calls “The Colluder-in-Chief” says that Ivanka is a lot smarter, taller, and 17 times sexier than Pency.
Trump added with a wink that Ivanka's gorgeously sexy legs alone, will get him millions of new horny male votes in the south.
He and Melanie sat down with “The White House Barbie”, as Whoopie Goldberg calls her, and told her to go out and buy about a dozen tight-fitting Daisy Duke short shorts.
(IN CLOSING – Kellyanne Conway, the president’s top adviser, recently told Laura “Potty Mouth” Ingraham that Trumpy told her in private that she has some very lusciously sexy thighs.)