Ivanka Trump Confesses Her Marriage is on The Rocks

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 19 March 2020

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Ivanka Trump may leave her husband and move back to New York City.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Close friends of first daughter, Ivanka Trump, have said that, lately, she has not been her normal, bubbly, blonde self.

One very close friend who has known her since they were both in the second grade, said that Ivanka is always pulling little pranks like putting salt in someone’s coffee or saying that she is going to become an atheist.

Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk sat down with Ivanka and interviewed her at a local Chick-fil-A.

Right off the bat, Ivanka was asked if there was trouble in paradise. She smiled, and said, “Well, I don’t know anything about paradise, but there is trouble in my marriage.”

She fiddled with her hair as she said, “And, truth be told, Jared (Kushner) is not the sexiest husband in the world, or even in our neighborhood, for that matter.”

She pointed out that his idea of affection is having her paint his toenails. She laughed, and said that she had had more sensuously sexy feelings from uncontrolled coughs.

When asked if she planned to file for a divorce, she was quick to answer. “Oh no, my daddy, our president, told me, in no uncertain terms, that he does not want me to divorce ‘Cuddles’, as Jared has me call him.”

She again fiddled with her hair, and said, “Daddykins is afraid that if I get divorced, I will have every Tom, Dick, and Harry from Seattle, Washington, to Bangor, Maine trying to, excuse my French, get in my pants.”

SIDENOTE: When told about Ivanka possibly divorcing him, Jared Kushner said, “Hey, look, the ditsy blonde is very high maintenance. I guarantee you that no other guy would ever put up with her BS.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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