POLTAVA, Ukraine - (World Satire) - The Ukrainian military forces have gotten fired up after they stomped Putin's Russian army at The Battle of Poltava. A group of Ukraine Freedom Fighters regiment, which is made up of 26% women, routed one of Put…
Not again! Holy fuck, Europe, will you please stop! The world got sucked into two of your major wars, plus a few smaller hellish nightmares … when we you people move? You’re becoming neighbors who won’t turn down your radios after ten o’clock – m…
Vladimer Pootin was found yesterday sitting on the floor of his office in the Kremlin playing with his toy plastic soldiers. "This isk wrong what they say about my military operations, is isk still perrfect!", he babbled over and over as he dismember…
The constant battles in Ukraine are ongoing, and sometimes the press can keep up, sometimes not. In the fog of war, it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s fake. Who is really winning, and what are they winning? Did the Ukrainians deal a hefty blow…
LONDON - (UK Satire) - 10 Downing Street reports that Great Britain's most largest and most powerful aircraft carrier, The HMS Big Ben, is streaming towards the Black Sea to aid Ukraine in their war against the invading Russian forces of President Pu…
SHUSTKA, Ukraine - (UK Satire) - England's 889th Supreme Liverpool Artillery Regiment has defeated Russia's 13th Kremlin Infantry Guard Regiment at The Battle of Shustka. An embedded London Daily Informer reporter with the British troops reported…
TWICKENHAM, England - (UK Satire) - Twickenham Times Telegram reporter Tango Brisket has just proclaimed that the 707th Queen's Elite Infantry Regiment has defeated one of Russia's top regiments The 19th Infantry Regiment, which is headquartered in M…
Ooooo, the Ukrainians are soooo scared! They killed a girl who Putin was in love with and wanted to put his baby inside (like so many other young girls and boys, with or without a tummy kiss from a man who heads the secret Russian organization: BB…
MARKIVKA, Ukraine - (Satire News) - The Ukraine National News Agency has just informed the Ukrainian people and the people of the world that Poland's 88th Warsaw Infantry Regiment has kicked the ass of Putin's pride and joy, his 69th Russian Bear Inf…
The EU celebrated unanimity in their latest bid to punish Russia for invading Ukraine. Russian tourists will have to pay a surcharge of 1 euro each when visiting EU beaches. The EU had wanted to ban Russian tourists completely but Turkish President E…
SOMEWHERE ON THE NORWEGIAN SEA - (Satire News) - The Cosmos News Service has just informed the public that a Russian submarine fired a torpedo at the Norewegian cruise liner, "The Princess of The Fiords." The ship's captain, Lars Hunkerheim, 67, s…
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The New York Sunshine Observer is reporting that US Navy Seals have successfully sunk one of Putin's largest battleships, "The Vodkavich." Sunshine Observer writer Carmine Catalino said that he spoke with a White…
KYIV, Ukraine - (Satire News) - The McDonalds Corporation in an effort to help Ukraine's economy announces that they are opening up six McDonalds fast food trailers in the capital city. Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, thanked the Golden A…
IN THE BLACK SEA - (Satire News) - The Ukraine Today News Agency is reporting that a giant tsunami has just sunk the Russian destroyer The Mrs. Mikhail Gorbachev. The destroyer had just taken fire from an American F-14 Tomahawk, when suddenly a gi…
Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelensky has confirmed that he will star in his own biopic film with a script still in the works. As Russia and Ukraine agree to continue ceasefire talks, Zelensky has won global praise as he fights to defend Ukraine…
Is your water on fire? What? NO! Why not? Here, at Halliburton, we can show you how to drill and turn water into fire. Fire is what helped Mankind evolve, so fire good, yes? The company once employed Dick “the Slick Trick” Cheney and is now re…
LONDON - (Satire News) - Her majesty, Queen Elizabeth was recently watching the Russian-Ukrainian War news on the BBC. A picture of a young Ukrainian boy suddenly flashed on the screen. She noticed that he looked a lot like one of her grandsons, W…
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