Ukrainian 19-Year-Old Pizza

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Friday, 9 September 2022

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Ukrainian 19-Year-Old Pizza
What Dipping Sauce Would You Like With That?

The constant battles in Ukraine are ongoing, and sometimes the press can keep up, sometimes not. In the fog of war, it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s fake. Who is really winning, and what are they winning? Did the Ukrainians deal a hefty blow to the Russians? Is Putin scrambling to draft more young Russians to die in an unjust war? (Is that the problem? Putin and Russia watched as the USA and Britain had their own fun unjust war in Iraq at the beginning of this century, so now they wanna have fun too?)

War is fun!

Until you get a message like this:

An unidentified reporter (not sure if they were pro-Uk or pro-Rus), but it didn’t matter when they saw words painted on the side of a burned out tank.

“Send more Russian soldiers – they are delicious.”

The Ukrainian nation hasn’t come to a complete halt, but people are suffering. And clearly hungry. Imagine going to the grocery store and not being able to stock up on toilet paper for the next pandemic, not being able to buy even a bit of tuna for the kitty, not being … just not!

How long until you resorted to cannibalism? Granted: maybe 19-year-old Russian soldiers are delicious, who knows? Gotta go to Ukraine to find out.

Myself: I’ll stay here and order a pizza. Funny how a “Ukrainian Azov Brothers Pizza Parlor” has just opened up down the street. Have to give them a try!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot