WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The New York Sunshine Observer is reporting that US Navy Seals have successfully sunk one of Putin's largest battleships, "The Vodkavich."
Sunshine Observer writer Carmine Catalino said that he spoke with a White House insider who told him that a group of three Navy Seals swam for 1.8 miles and were able to attach a total of 16 grade A naval explosives to the naval vessel's hull.
The lead Navy Seal, who uses the moniker of The Sea Serpent said that the explosion went off exactly as planned, with the sound being heard as far away as 27.2 miles.
Putin is reportedly angrier than a breeding bull with no balls, and vows to launch a missile towards Iowa.
