LAS VEGAS – (Sports Satire) - Las Vegas oddsmakers have said that it will most likely be the Rockets and the Heat in the final NBA showdown. One Vegas odds maker told ESPN-5, that he regularly consults a family of three gypsy sisters who live in T…
CHICAGO – (Sports Trivia) - A spokesperson for BLM has informed the owner of the Utah Jazz, Gail Miller, that they want her to change the team name, which is as offensively racist to blacks, as the name redskins is to Apaches, Comanches, and Kickapoo…
GUACAMOLE GROVE, California – (Sports Satire) - CBS Sports is reporting that a little seven-year-old girl has astounded the sports world by making 317 three-pointers in a row, at a charity event for the Black Cats Matter animal organization. The e…
SAN FRANCISCO – (Sports Satire) - Word coming out of the West Coast is that Golden State fans are starting to abandon their Warriors team like deer running from an erupting volcano. The Warriors own the worst record in the entire 30-team NBA.
HOLLYWOOD – (Movie Satire) - The latest actor to portray the Marvel superhero Captain America is Anthony “The Bro” Mackie, who just happens to be black. He recently spoke with Howard Stern, and expressed how thrilled he was at the fact that he had…
ORLANDO, Florida - (Sports Satire) – After months of speculation, concern, worry, and downright confusion due to the Coronavirus, the NBA balls are now bouncing at the Orlando Bubble. NBA Commissioner Adam "Hi Yo" Silver remarked that it is good t…
ORLANDO, Florida - (Sports Satire) - L.A. Clippers guard Lou Williams was excused to go outside the bubble, to pick up ten boxes of fully-loaded pizzas for the team. But, on the way to the restaurant, he decided to stop off at one of Orlando’s mo…
The Los Angeles area was buzzing with great interest this evening, as the Lakers unveiled their unbelievably-talented new signing, the 9-year-old child prodigy, Reuben Reubenstein, who has joined the team and given up going to school, because he does…
ORLANDO - The NBA Disney World Bubble is proudly boasting that there is no sign of the Coronavirus within 9 miles of the venue. NBA executives are expressing that the round ball operation is running as smooth as fine Walla Walla Wine Every one…
DETROIT – The NBA has just informed the sports media that it has just picked up a brand new sponsor for the 2020 season. NBA Commissioner Adam Silver, said that the NBA is excited to welcome its newest corporate sponsor, Black Lives Matter. Si…
NEW YORK CITY – The commissioner of the NBA has just put out some bad news for pro basketball hungry fans. Adam Silver told Sports Balls Illustrated that because of the Coronavirus numbers on the rise, the NBA season may be scrapped. One die-ha…
NEW YORK CITY – The NBA, in an effort to focus on the plight of the Black Lives Matter movement, has decided to allow players to make up their own social justice statements. The phrases will go on the back of their jerseys, in place of their name.
NEW YORK CITY – The NBA season will finally be starting after a 4-month hiatus, that’s 2 years and 4 months in dog years. The Utah Jazz are scheduled to kick off the season against the New Orleans Pelicans. Utah coach Quin Snyder told Sports Be...
HOUSTON – The city of Houston is thrilled that their Rockets will finally be getting off the launch pad at NASA, and hitting the basketball court. Coach Mike D’Antoni said that he is sick and tired of watching reruns of the “Price is Right” and “…
SAN ANTONIO – Ever since the “Big 3” left the Spurs, the team has not been doing as well as they had been in the past. After retiring, Duncan went back home to the Virgin Islands, Ginobili left for Argentina, and Parker returned to France. Lit…
CLEVELAND – The top basketball player in the NBA was back in his hometown, visiting a cousin, Toby "Mr. Meat" Stuyvesant, who just opened up a barbecue restaurant named the Sweet Sultry Smoke Shack. LeBron smiled, as he said that the eatery's slog...
SAN ANTONIO – Famed NBA basketball coach Gregg Popovich was having some practice drills with two of his star players, Patty Mills (#8) and Marco Belinelli (#18). The players had come to his Star Wars-style mansion and were enjoying getting a littl...
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