In a stunning turnaround, and against all the odds, the EU and the UK government put aside their previous differences on the Brexit deal, and finally reached an agreement to suit both sides: they agreed to disagree. The two factions, who had previ...
Cabinet members were called in this afternoon to sign off Theresa Maybot's Brexit deal but all was not well as it was condensed into a two line SMS or "text message" as Britons like to call it. "Ministers" were shocked by the paucity of information m...
He's been reviled as a Man With No Plan, but the ideas for a successful Brexit of buffoon and failed politician Bozo Johnson along with those of his tax-avoiding wealthy, gold-plated pension cronies, Jacob Rees-Smug, David "Dumbo" Davis, Dr Liar Fox...
Following the Salzburg summit rebuffal and being handed her ass on Instagram by the EU President, Theresa May came back fighting this week in the typical British way - with a strongly worded statement. After she was left looking like a wally, much...
Theresa May has frozen talks with the EU over Brexit as EU leaders have again put obstacles in the way of her finest hour. European fat cats have once again stopped Theresa from “cherry picking” which EU principles she wants the UK to be involved wit...
With Brexit now only six months away and the Irish border question still unresolved, the Jacob Rees-Mog mob have came up with a cunning plan to address it. The minister for the 18th Century is leading an absolutely vital think tank called The Eu...
At the time I knew what I wanted. It was 23rd June 2016 and I was in the polling booth. There it was in black and white before me "Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union or leave the European Union?" I wanted what Nigel and Boris had told me: I wanted to escape the shackles of the undemocratic EU, even though we have a vote on everything in the European parliament.
Little Chef chairman, ardent Brexiteer, Conservative party donor, tax exile and fast food entrepreneur, Sir Tom Arto-Ketchup spoke out today about his hopes for a Brexit Dividend as a result of a no deal Brexit and Operation Stack bringing the roads...
"Prime Minister" Theresa May surprised both Brexiteer and Remainer members of her party today when she appointed EastEnders on-screen hard man Danny Dyer as Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union following the resignation of the previous s...
FA blazers announced today that the 2018-19 Premier League season would be cut short and would end on 29th March 2019 when the United Kingdom leaves the European Union. This is the result of those football fans who voted en masse to leave the Euro...
"Frankly, we don't give a toss" was the reaction of France's Champagne industry to the Wetherspoon announcement that the fusty old gits chain of pubs would cease selling Champagne and Prosecco. Shortly after his recent shock announcement that he w...
The UK’s defence secretary has declared that we must be “ready to counter threats from space”. He made the announcement after watching Starship Troopers and posting a live Vlog of him standing on ants. The UK has proved itself incapable of dealing...
A secret cabinet office memorandum has been obtained by political editor Paxton Quigley, which admits that under European Union procurement rules the contract for printing new sterling banknotes will be awarded to the Polish national bank. Paxton...
Minister for Malapropism and head clown Boris Johnson made a controversial speech today, in which he claimed that the success or failure of Brexit had nothing to do with his government's negotiations with the EU. Instead, he said, it rested entirely...
Berlin, 2050. My name is Herman Boring, German ambassador to the Britons. I recently returned from a mission to that remote island, and I was shocked at what I found. It was my task to try to re-establish contact with the people there after many years of self-imposed isolation. I had expected to see six-toed mutants and incestuous half-breeds living in a backward post-apocalyptic civilization,...
David Davis, the Brexit minister, has given a frank and open interview to journalist Frank Open, and revealed some details about the process of extricating the UK from the EU. "It's very difficult," said Davis. "Barnier [chief negotiator for the E...
Today in Brussels, Boris Johnson made a long-awaited speech to the EU, setting out the terms of Brexit as he sees them. Here is the full unabridged text of his speech. "Good afterlunch, my fellow Euro-chumps and bureaucratinators. It has been eigh...
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