Confessions of a Brexit Voter

Funny story written by Paxton Quigley

Tuesday, 4 September 2018

image for Confessions of a Brexit Voter
Rees-Smugg "it may take 50 years to benefit from leaving the EU".

At the time I knew what I wanted. It was 23rd June 2016 and I was in the polling booth. There it was in black and white before me "Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union or leave the European Union?"

I wanted what Nigel and Boris had told me:

I wanted to escape the shackles of the undemocratic EU, even though we have a vote on everything in the European parliament.

I wanted to stop 76 million Turks from coming to my country, even though Turkey will never be in the EU the way things are going.

I wanted freedom from the interference of the European Court of Justice, whatever that is, even if it does protect my rights.

I wanted to get rid of EU immigrant scroungers, including those nice doctors and nurses and my carer.

I wanted British companies to trade freely with the world, even though they do already.

I wanted £350 million per week for the NHS, even though this was based on Bozo's lies.

I wanted to take back control even if it means trashing the judges and parliament as enemies of the people.

Hmm. I'm beginning to think this doesn't add up, but never mind it will all be OK in 50 years as that nice Mr. Rees-Smugg has promised.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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