WEST POINT, New York – President Trump caused a lot of Republicans to utter a collective “WTF?” after he took a of drink of water from a glass and looked like a 3-year-old doing it. Trump was delivering the Gettysburg Address at West Point, when h...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president has finally gotten around to issuing his Oval Office report on the Minneapolis Riots. He began by saying that most of the rioters were protesters, looters, thugs, punks, and some were probably real good basketball...
NEW YORK CITY – A staff member on the Tucker Carlson Show, which airs on the Fox News Channel (aka Trump Central), reports that he has already lost 41 advertisers and counting. The reason for the mass sponsor exodus is due to the fact that "Tucky,…
LAKE CHARLES, Louisiana – The president flew down to the Bayou State of Louisiana, to meet with a highly reputable Cajun voodoo practitioner. Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany said that the president met with Lottie Jo Lafayette, who is considered...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In what genealogy experts are calling the most baffling discovery in over 45 years of genealogical research, President Donald J. Trump’s DNA has been found in Kenya. The Washington Globe-Express reported that the amazing thing i…
CHICAGO – A team of leading Midwest doctors have just issued a medical statement which is contradicting previous statements, that had come out of Mozambique and Iceland. The team of doctors say that, after studying the Coronavirus for two months,…
DALLAS – President Trump flew down to Dallas to attend an unveiling of a statue in his honor. He was accompanied by his son Barron and his pet woodchuck, Woody. POTUS remarked that he would not miss this great honor for all of the money that visit…
DAYTONA BEACH, Florida – There has never been a bigger change in the 72-year history of NASCAR than the change that has just taken place. The change came about after written complaints, which were initiated by NASCAR driver, Bubba Wallace, who hap...
NEW YORK CITY – Howard Stern, the “Shock Jock” who has never been shy about stating his beliefs, has told the Baltimore Implier-Journal newspaper that President “Agent Orange” needs to stop acting like a spoiled diva and resign for the good of the na...
HOLLYWOOD – Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom have announced that they are expecting their first child later this year. Katy, who is 35, recently told Bedroom Pillow Talk’s Gazebo Serengeti that she has never been pregnant before and she had no idea th...
DUBLIN – Ireland’s Department of Decency in Naming has just informed the popular Irish heavy metal band, C-19, that they will have to change their band name. Band frontman Doolin Tipperary, asked why in the world would they have to change it. H...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump just made tens of millions of Democrats happy as hell. "The Orange Mess" has just announced that he will be starting up his MAGA campaign rallies in Tulsa, Oklahoma at the Sooner or Later Arena. Trump, who ha...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A nationwide poll was recently conducted which dealt strictly on looks. A total of 901,883 individuals were asked to rate each one of the United States senators as far as looks go. A 10 was for handsome and beautiful. And a 1 wa...
SAN FRANCISCO – Kimberly Guilfoyle was visiting old friends in “The Golden Gate City.” She was asked by a reporter with Telemundo about her romantic involvement with Donnie Trump Jr. She said that he hates being called Donnie because it makes...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House staff member, who begged that his name not be released, said that he personally saw the most powerful leader in the world huddled in the White House bunker like a scared little kitty cat. He noted that Melania, how...
NEW YORK CITY – The verbal assault between President Trump and pundit Ann Coulter has intensified into a firing of nasty verbal rockets at each other. Coulter says that she has a lot of energy and even more stamina, and she vows to not let up on t...
WALLA WALLA, Washington – Vice-President Mike Pence flew to Walla Walla on what an aide described as a top-secret mission. While there, he was given a tour of the home where the Grand Industrial Wizard Dragon of the Benevolent Gladiola Chapter of...
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