WALLA WALLA, Washington – Vice-President Mike Pence flew to Walla Walla on what an aide described as a top-secret mission.
While there, he was given a tour of the home where the Grand Industrial Wizard Dragon of the Benevolent Gladiola Chapter of the KKK was born.
Pence remarked that he was really impressed by the hundreds of colorful swastikas that were scattered throughout the house.
A reporter with Galavision asked him about the recent rumor that he had told a White House insider that, from time to time, when he looks at the first lady, he will get a very happy feeling in his pants.
Pence blushed, but replied that he cannot help it. He noted that, even though he can control his lust, he wants to remind everyone that a man cannot totally control what his crotch puppet does.
He did say that, in the future, whenever he finds himself around Melania, he will picture her looking like Kellyanne Conway, and that way, any happy lap feelings that he may start to get will be instantly nipped in the bud.