BILLINGSGATE POST: Millions of sports fans over the age of 100 will remember watching one of the greatest comebacks in the history of boxing. Ninety-eight years ago, heavyweight champion Jack Dempsey and Argentine challenger Luis Angel Firpo produce…
BILLINGSGATE POST: In 1943, the movie Lassie Come Home was released by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. Starring Roddy McDowell and canine actor Pal, it was a story about a Yorkshire boy and his rough collie, Lassie. After her destitute family is forced to sel…
BILLINGSGATE POST: As if struck by a lightning bolt while on his porcelain throne, in a spirit of unbounded equanimity, unmatched since he pardoned Roger Stone, today President Trump announced his latest pardon list. Limiting it to those accused o…
BILLINGSGATE POST: EGAD FAP! After having his first choice for Secretary of Defense, General Lloyd J Austin III, dumped for being part of the feared Industrial-Military Complex, President-Elect Joe Biden nominated his second choice, Major Amos B Ho…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Who woulda thunk that someday your thoughts might be monitored? Faced with a divided nation of 75 million voters who prefer to eat pasta at the Olive Tree rather than the French Laundry, where elites like to gather to thwart COVID-…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Daring to be different, Joe Biden defeated Donald Trump by presenting himself as a latter-day Andy Gump. Like Gump, he has an anterior mandible defect that creates the appearance of an absent chin and lower lip, along with a seve…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Elmer Smuckmeister thought he had seen everything Beaver Crossing had to offer: From cow pie-tossing contests to the unveiling, in the town square, of a 100-foot monument to the Unknown Beaver (which some of the local pinch mouths…
BILLINGSGATE POST: There’s nothing like a good duck story to start the New Year. And nobody tells a duck story better than Elmer Smuckmeister, the most famous resident of Beaver Crossing, Nebraska. He swears it happened. It was duck season in Neb…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Thank God for President Trump! In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court ruled that sex organs can be used to determine one’s gender. While conventional sex theories, held sacred since Adam and Eve discovered each other's inter-joinin…
BILLINGSGATE POST: President-elect Joe Bien has decided to dissolve the Secret Service and replace it with an Imperial Palace Eunuch Corps when he takes office. Biden quoted Han Fei Tzu, a revered Chinese Minister of State and man of letters who…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Even the horse flies won’t touch this one. Yesterday, Sleepy Joe, responding to a question concerning the investigation of his crooked son, Hunter, called the reporter “a one-horse pony.” That response, in itself, would not ind…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Slim Everdingle reached for the sky and finally found it. Today, after years of postponed achievement, he will receive a Doctorate in Forensic Micro-Sleuthing from La Fontaine College, located in Marondera, a city in Mashonaland E…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Funky Home Meds, a wholly-owned subsidiary of The Funky Corporation, announced today that the FDA has approved their savory salve ointment that they claim will make chapped lips a thing of the past. Freida Funk, heir apparent t…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Nonsense, you say. Perhaps you haven’t been following the news. After being swept under the rug for decades, sightings of mysterious extraterrestrial vehicles and their alien passengers are now commonplace; as universally accept…
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a rare display of emotion, Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, blamed his most ardent fan, Monkey Woods, for the spiritless ambiance that permeated Old Trafford yesterday, as Manchester United and Manchester City drew 0-0…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Snopes, the same group that verified that two Russian hookers peed on Donald Trump’s hotel bed, have now confirmed that the improbable story about Joe Biden having sex with three Chinese hookers while he was driving a forklift dow…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Haim Eshed, a former chief of the Israel Defense Ministry’s space directorate, says that extraterrestrials from a Galactic Federation have been in contact with him, that President Trump is aware of this, and was previously "on the…
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