Dr. Billingsgate

Screen Name: Dr. Billingsgate

Dr. Billingsgate has published 669 items on The Spoof and is currently ranked 5th in the top writers table.

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Latest Spoof News Story: Saturday 20th April 2019

Spoofing since: Monday 22nd February 2010

Location: Galapagos Islands

Profile: Born in the Billingsgate area of London for which he was eponymously named, he is the son of intinerant fishmongers. Although not a child protege, he was called "Doctor" from the very start. His siblings, who were not of royal birth, were named "King," "Queen" and "Princess" by their proud mum.

Upon migrating to the Cayman Islands as a teenager, Dr. Billingsgate enrolled in the prestigious La Fontaine College and was awarded his first of twelve doctorates in Animal Husbandry. His provocative thesis, "Making a Sheep Smile," still serves as the bellwether document uniting men and animals in times of crisis.

While working with sheep herders in Montana as part of his Animal Husbandry research, Dr. Billingsgate invented the "Montana Pole.” Taking note of these lonely men and their penchant for intimacy with their woolly wards, he took a discarded pitchfork handle and attached a mirror to one end. With that dangling in front of the sheep’s face, it was possible to see if the sheep was smiling while being poked from the rear. A simple convenience, but one that made Billingsgate a legend in the Big Sky country of Montana.

Now semi-retired and living in the Galapagos Islands, the good doctor, who received his twelfth and maybe final doctorate in Taxidermy, whiles away his time harvesting bat guano and observing the mating habits of the Giant Tortoise.

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