The Mar-a-Lago Mauler Knocked Out Of Ring: Will He Come Back In 24?

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 18 January 2021

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I Will Return

BILLINGSGATE POST: Millions of sports fans over the age of 100 will remember watching one of the greatest comebacks in the history of boxing. Ninety-eight years ago, heavyweight champion Jack Dempsey and Argentine challenger Luis Angel Firpo produced a boxing classic that will live in infamy as “The fight of all the ages.”

Not since the Roman Empire, when Commodus was thrown to the lions in the Colosseum, has there been such a reversal in outcomes. After having one arm and a leg torn off by the ravaging lions, Commodus came back to slay the beasts in overtime.

Could History repeat itself?

It certainly could. It happened at New York’s Polo Grounds, in front of 85,000 crazed fans inside the stadium. It figured to be an entertaining fight. Two free-swinging heavyweights, both in their prime, who wanted to end the fight early.

But no one was prepared for what happened.

The Manassa Mauler, as Jack Dempsey was known, had been champion since 1919. Firpo was a crude, powerfully built slugger known as “the Wild Bull of the Pampas.”

The fight lasted 3 minutes 57 seconds, but there were nine knockdowns.

Dempsey had knocked Firpo down three times in a wild first round when he had Dempsey against the ropes. Firpo hit Dempsey with a thunderous right hand to the chin. Dempsey’s head snapped back and he sailed over the ropes, landing on his back on the press table.

Unable to regain his feet, Dempsey flailed and thrashed about on the press table, while the referee began a count.

With the friendly reporters lending a hand, Dempsey climbed back into the ring, where he knocked Firpo down again before the bell ended the round. In the second round, Dempsey dropped Firpo for good with a right hand less than a minute into the second round.

Might History repeat itself, once again?

After being unceremoniously tossed out of the White House by Nancy Poozleosi and her blood-thirsty minions, will the Mar-a-Lago Mauler climb back into the ring and throw the bums out in 2024?

Dr. Slim: “From Commodus to Dempsey to Trump. The torch will pass.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. How many sequels did Rocky and Rambo have?”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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