As a new month begins, another awareness campaign accompanies it by wackily incorporating itself into the month's name. Formerly known as 'November', the eleventh month is now forever 'Movember', raising awareness for Liverpool forward Mo Salah an...
Scottish football was today reacting to the ugly scenes that marred last nights Edinburgh derby between Hearts and Hibernian which, it has to be said, were also quite entertaining. Hibs manager Neil Lennon was struck in the face by a coin thrown f...
A footballer who does not wear a poppy to mark Remembrance Day, is to not wear a poppy to mark Remembrance Day, again. Stoke City player James Mclean, an Irish Republican, has never worn the club shirt of whom he plays for, with the poppy design e...
Tottenham Hot Spur Titans suffered a defeat at the hands of Man Chester City Marlins at Wembley Stadium last night in a bizarre and low-scoring contest. Running Line Forward, Riyadh Mahrez, got the only score for the Marlins, as the game ended, in...
An extravagant budget is expected following Theresa May's announcement at Conference that Austerity is over. Just revised to "an end to Austerity is in sight." Expected to later be adapted to "okay, Austerity's indefinite." With the most funds ava...
Politicians have condemned the use of distasteful language by politicians, after politicians used distasteful language towards a politician. Somehow-still Prime Minister, Theresa May, was the target of the rhetoric before a Brexit meeting with fel...
Suspicious packages sent to prominent public figures, including Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, are the work of pro-Trump, right-wing maniacs, say the anti-Trump, left-wing media. Suspicious packages sent to prominent public figures, including B...
Manchester United legends Paul Scholes and Rio Ferdinand have again been reminiscing fondly of bygone times following a football match. Now BT Sport pundits, the pair were commenting on Juventus' 1-0 victory at Old Trafford in the Champions League...
As international pressure and questions increasingly mount on Saudi Arabia regarding the murder of critic Jamal Khashoggi, they have announced, through a third party, that everyone is sick today. Clown Prince Mohammed bin Salman is said to have "...
Donald Trump has reiterated his use of the term "witch-hunt" after actual witches placed a spell on Supreme Court Judge Brett Kavanaugh. Having had the same thing happen to himself last year, the President appeared even more emboldened than usual...
Following its legalisation of cannabis, Canada is to rename itself as a portmanteau of the two words: Cannabisda. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who has recently been focusing a lot on wordplay, said, "uhhhh, yea man, why the hell not, huh?" "I...
House of Commons speaker, John Bercow, has told MP's that bullying claims within Parliament should be investigated by an independent, external body. Led by him. Conservative MP Bercow, who has occupied the supposedly impartial position of House Sp...
People who eat people will "not be forgotten about" after Brexit, sources say. Following the revelations earlier this year from Brexit minister Dominic Raaaaab that the Government is stockpiling food and medicine in case of a No Deal, it has now b...
Theresa May faced up to those poking fun at her at Conference today by actually doing the thing that she considers to be dancing onto the stage. The Prime Minister confronted perceived humiliations she has suffered recently, none more so than when...
Extra Pritt-Stick has been ordered to ensure Theresa May can only balls-up from speaking shite and not as well as the stage falling apart around her during her speech, ministers say. The previous Tory Conference was a spectacular screw-up for the...
Billionaire businessman Mike Ashley has blasted "greedy landlords" for the closure of several House of Fraser department stores. The Sports Direct and Newcastle United FC owner stepped in to buy the historical chain for £90 million when it looked...
Following the Salzburg summit rebuffal and being handed her ass on Instagram by the EU President, Theresa May came back fighting this week in the typical British way - with a strongly worded statement. After she was left looking like a wally, much...
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