Tottenham Hot Spur Titans suffered a defeat at the hands of Man Chester City Marlins at Wembley Stadium last night in a bizarre and low-scoring contest.
Running Line Forward, Riyadh Mahrez, got the only score for the Marlins, as the game ended, incredibly, only one to zero! That wasn't the only strange thing about this match-up.
New all-time records were set for the least runs with ball in hand, the most kicks in a single game, and the least time-outs ever to be recorded. The coaches didn't even have Madonna-style microphones attached to their faces!
Team strategies bamboozled every NFL commentator, as the Titans and the Marlins appeared to be looking to bravely revolutionise the sport.
Veteran broadcaster Chuck Ball said, "Well, folks, that was cutting edge football! It didn't even seem like NFL at times, but it definitely had the hallmarks. It was an NFL pitch and venue for sure, the logo was reassuringly massively stamped in the middle of it, hell it was the second match-up there in two days!
"This was a college match, I'm pretty sure. The stadium wasn't full like on Sunday for the Cavaliers at the Eagles, and there was a different energy. Players were kicking outside of the clearly marked parameter lines, and, at one point, the fans and players seemed to get really pumped when the ball went into a net, but hey, they're still all learning. I don't fully get it, but this signals football is evolving into new and exciting areas. Okay, that game totally sucked, but it will improve with time."
"That was my main takeaway from the game", he said, before going to pick up food from a restaurant to eat at home.