Scholes And Ferdinand's Pining Punditry

Funny story written by Talking Tic-Tacs

Wednesday, 24 October 2018

image for Scholes And Ferdinand's Pining Punditry
Aww, bless their completely populist ramblings.

Manchester United legends Paul Scholes and Rio Ferdinand have again been reminiscing fondly of bygone times following a football match.

Now BT Sport pundits, the pair were commenting on Juventus' 1-0 victory at Old Trafford in the Champions League.

Scholes and Ferdinand both made clear their dissatisfaction with boss Jose Mourinho, "boo hoo, boo hoo, Alex Ferguson, boo hoo, wasn't like that in our day, Sir Alex Ferguson, we wouldn't do that, boo hoo, boo hoo, Fergie, boo hoo", they said, synchronistically.

Football punditry pundit, Paul Punter, who critiques pundits' critiques, says "the pair have made no secret they lay the blame squarely at Mourinho's door for Manchester United's performances. It may well be, but he is just one man, who stands on the touchline. The players and owners are given a free reign, as if they're toddlers cared for in a crêche."

"The two of them lack objectivity with their overly-Man Utd-centric views, bemoaning their 'style of play', as if they decide what to do, and other teams just roll over and want their bellies tickled."

"Punditry has become a sport in itself, and some of these guys immerse themselves in so much technicality that they forget about common sense. They aren't good enough. Simple. Man United, that is. Although, Scholes and Ferdinand as pundits, too. I've heard more eloquence from a friggin' fart."

"They just moan and get all nostalgic; that's not punditry, that's moaning nostalgia. It's like being at your nan's listening to them grump away," he bemoaned, oblivious to the irony.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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