Written by Talking Tic-Tacs

Friday, 2 November 2018

image for Every Month Now A Public Awareness Campaign
Barry Scott has reportedly tried to raise awareness of Cillit Bang by renaming February FeBANG AND THE DIRT IS GONE!ruary.

As a new month begins, another awareness campaign accompanies it by wackily incorporating itself into the month's name.

Formerly known as 'November', the eleventh month is now forever 'Movember', raising awareness for Liverpool forward Mo Salah and people named 'Mo' everywhere. Even 'Maurices', as they are sometimes known as 'Mo', as an innovatively-shortened nickname which really is inspired.

Movember carries on from where 'Stoptober' ended, a modification of 'October'. This campaign was aimed at supporting bus stops nationwide as places to stand in awkward silences with complete strangers, or sometimes even people you know, but who you make out you've not seen, because you really don't want to see or speak to them, because it's been a long day and you're just not in the mood.

Stoptober came hot on the heels of 'Septicember' which was in honour of the under-appreciated septic tank sewage waste disposal system that is very sexy and has an underground appeal among niche sewage enthusiasts.

The last month of the year will be 'Decksember', in a celebration of outside flooring that so many of us enjoy in back gardens, front gardens and pub gardens alike. A far more cultured take on outside flooring compared to the crudely-concrete-slabbed patio, decking is very much in vogue. Turntables are expected to be honoured with the Decksember title, too, although it's not entirely the intention as DJs are already quite far up themselves.

The first month of the year is scheduled to be 'Flanuary', raising awareness of flans. Their versatility alone, is something to cherish, rimmed pastry dishes or sponge cakes, they can be sweet or savoury! You could plausibly have flan for your dinner main and dessert flan. Quiche lorraine is a flan, custard tart is a flan, and leche flan is a flan. So remember, on the first of Flanuary, to raise a drink, or even a flan, and say cheers, to the flan!

Each month will now be raising awareness of something, but you didn't think I'd go through all of them did you?

To be continued...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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