White House - The staffers still remaining close to President 'Sandy Bunkers', as he is now referred to around the office, with a snicker, say that he has a map of the world on his Oval Office desk with countries like Syria, Iraq, and Zimbabwe colored in red marker.
But how could we be sure that this was his plan? To take over a weaker country and become its king?
"Because he wrote in red sharpie at the bottom of the map, in the ocean part, 'Red Countrys I Could Be King Of.'
Fair enough.
"But he also colored in New Zealand and Canada," explained our source, who has been using a fake name for over a year now. Then he found out about Maori people and politeness, and backed off. He can't stand people saying 'sorry'. It drives him crazy. Even he knew he'd go mad in Canada. Plus, 'too much clothing on the 'chicks,' he was often heard saying, after a visit there.
"We're pretty sure he's in cahoots with Bashar al-Assad, to slowly take the reins in Syria. It's hot there; less clothing. Use some of that fortune he just scammed from his drooling stooges since the election to buy in. He likes the fury he sees in the masses there. He thinks he could sculpt them into a beautiful Trumpian Society. And he knows Bashar has a weakness for snorting meth off of teenage prostitutes, like he does. They text some pretty gross GIFs back and forth."
Perfect we reckoned. Orange turd man will fit in very well in Syria. After all, the capitol is called 'Dumbass-cus!'
