The request for Germany's military assistance was a pipe-dream mistake created by a Russian subordinate's intern who had a sense of humor. (And who has since fallen out of a 6th story window.) Syria claims that they are fresh out of extra killin…
Irvine, CA - Taco Bell is always trying to gain global market share in the profitable 'crappy food' market, and they have seen steady profits with their bizarre international menu. In Japan, you can get a Octopusadilla. In Italy, you'll find taco-…
White House - The staffers still remaining close to President 'Sandy Bunkers', as he is now referred to around the office, with a snicker, say that he has a map of the world on his Oval Office desk with countries like Syria, Iraq, and Zimbabwe colore…
Breaking: Mr. Trump not only sent a letter to Turkey’s President Erdogan on October 9, he also sent a PS--not disclosed by mainstream press so far. Mr. Trump’s first message is famous as deposited “in the bin” by Mr. Erdogan, according to insider...
Moscow, Russia Vlad Putin once again hosted a meeting of the World Dictators. The main rule to be a member is you must be the head of a country rated “Not Free” by the Freedom House. Presently, there are 50 qualifiers, some more famous like Daniel O...
The hacker group Dark Overbored has come forward with leaks of new details on the Trump presidency. The suspicion that the presidency has secretly changed hands from Mr. Trump to Mr. Bolton is bolstered by these leaks. At issue specifically is...
Paid content on behalf of Isis Recruitment Services, bomb crater, Syrian Desert. We know how you feel. You've done time in prison for shoplifting or burglary. You hate your job stacking shelves in Lidl or counting chicken nuggets. You've been thrown out of college for failing your accountancy exam. You're an incel, girls don't want to know you and Pornhub is your only outlet. You spend too much...
Hello, everyone, this is No Shit News letting you know what's REALLY happening around the world today. That's NSN for the Truth! Here's Jay Labier. "Sup everyone? Er, I wanna tell ya 'bout what's goin on over there in Syria. On Saturday, the combi...
US windbag and all round walking political piss take, Donald Trump, has defended his “mission accomplished” tweet after it was ridiculed by actual media outlets. The same outlets Donald keeps claiming are fake. It always seems odd to us that a man with no political qualifications sits in a political job and calls qualified individuals “fake”. Anyway we digress.... Of course Donald authorised ai...
So after PM May decided “fuck it” and bombed the shit out of another country on tenuous evidence (where have we heard this before) she now fears a public backlash. The main shame is that she won’t be receiving said “back lashes” across her back with a glass encrusted whip. The carrion eyed cunt completely misjudged the public appetite for more wanton slaughter from above and now fear repercussi...
Washington, D.C. - According to leaked information from an anonymous source inside the White House, President Donald Trump approved yesterday's Tomahawk cruise missile strike against a Syrian airfield because Trump thought the U.S. would be launching...
North Pole, Arctic - Rudolph is not apologizing for his recent weekend Twitter rampage, stating that he will not be forced to drop presents off in Aleppo, Syria. Sighting claims that it is far too dangerous to go anywhere near the bombed-out city...
In November 2015 Donald Trump said, "I know more about ISIS than the generals do. Believe me." In that same year Mr. Trump stated, "I always felt that I was in the military" because of his education at a military-themed boarding school. He said his...
Back, yes, Pepe Warezabar here, and I'm back. What do they call it--a sequester? Studying my navel and sacred texts and other matters? Now I'm bartender at Hotel Jarabulus just below the border with Turkey. It's been two years since Kobani and my last work in Erdogan's tent (for which I received The Guard Dog's undercover-story-of-the-week award, by the way). At this very moment I'm at th...
Young Francis Muldoon was a strange little boy. He lived in a village in County Tipperary Ireland called Ballytohellnback. His father was a turnip farmer who also reared sheep and his mother worked as a maid at the local parish church of St. Patrick...
Jeremy Corbyn has today vowed that he would turn Downing Street into a refugee centre. Speaking from one of the spare bedrooms in his North London detached house, Corbyn said this: "We need to show compassion. We need to show the world we are pre...
Mr. Obama's hallmark "don't-do-stupid-stuff" policy from a few years back is currently being upgraded to "unless-it-involves-Syria." Yesterday the US dropped 50 tons of ammunition near Raqqa to a Syria-Arab brigade fighting ISIS/IS, the leader of...
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