Stumped Trump Rioters Turn Anger To Other D.C. Civil Servants

Funny story written by Paul Blake

Thursday, 14 January 2021

image for Stumped Trump Rioters Turn Anger To Other D.C. Civil Servants
Devin Glickmiester, of Tucson, takes a break from 'fucking some shit up real good.'

Washington, D.C., U.S.A. - Hissy-fitting Trump supporters who had their big impeachment riot plans thwarted by over 20,000 National Guard troops at the Capitol on Wednesday, decided to take their pissy little shit-fit out on any government employee they could find around D.C.

We caught up with a group of three goat-horned losers waving dirty Trump flags, to see what they were up to, now that their numb nuts, shit-for-brains leader was getting impeached for certain—again.

"I totally didn't pay to get on the bus!" said Deven Glickmeister, who came to DC from Arizona to 'fuck some shit up.' "And I'm not paying all the way back to the airport, neither! Stop The Steal! The Election Was Rigged!"

"And, and we didn't pay to get into that big airplane building thingie. Hang Mike Pence!" said Clemons Labastard, recounting his trip to the National Air and Space Museum, which is free to anyone. "Donald Junior 2024!"

"I gots me a picture of me mooning the MLK statue thingie with my bare ass!" told Billy Jo Bimbopper, of Mississippi, who was hoping to beat a black person or two to death with a baseball bat with nails sticking out of it. But was likely only leaving with a picture of his ass. "Also, I stuck a piece of gum on MLK's leg! Shoot Pelosi!! The Storm Is Here!!""

"Yeah, it was bit different scene at the Capitol this week, so we decided to just walk around town, fucking with any type a gov'ment thing we seen," explained our small clan's leader, Robert H. Hickdipper III, of Hope Falls, Idaho.

Mr. Hickdipper's big offense against the conspiracy-funded government so far on this mild and sunny Wednesday, was to throw his empty Starbucks cup and bagel wrapper in the gutter, "so the street sweeper will have to pick it up," boasted Hickdipper, who knew it was a pretty lame protest in hindsight. "But just like Glick, I ain't paying for the bus back to the airport, neither! Trump 2024!! Let's Burn the Statue Of Liberty!"

So, just like everything else in the Trump presidency, these three supporters' big trip to the nation's capital was turning into a steaming pile of crap, too.

Oh, well.

Farewell orange fart man. So long inbreed cockroaches that lust greedily for the smell of orange fart man's toxic expulsions. Please go and use your spiked baseball bats on each other for a bit, while we try and fix all the crap your douchebag grandmaster fucked up.

See you in four years.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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