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Funny story: Experts Applaud $94 TRILLION "Green Tech" Proposal

Experts Applaud $94 TRILLION "Green Tech" Proposal

SAN FRANCISCO - When the wish-list for the "Green New Deal" became public, the $94 TRILLION price tag had millions of Americans staggering around in disbelief. Based on current tax rates and Federal spending, those who paid the taxes by working could...

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Funny story: Nike Shoe Destroyed as Illuminati Ascend in Power

Nike Shoe Destroyed as Illuminati Ascend in Power

RALEIGH, NC - In a college basketball game between Duke University and the University of North Carolina, one of the Next-Generation shoes "exploded" while being worn by Zion Williamson. Adding to the shock, President Barack Obama attended the game, a...

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Funny story: Illuminati Lost Control of CIA ?!!!

Illuminati Lost Control of CIA ?!!!

St. Moritz, Switzerland - Please, do not make the "Shock-Face".... The standard, reassuring sympathy in a quiet voice saying - "golly, we never saw this coming" is enough. You know, I know, and WE ALL KNOW that this story could have been written two years ago. Can you remember the day when you saw "The Head of the CIA" (or some other "Top Intel Official") on a women's morning talk show? ... And t...

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Funny story: George H W Bush - Best CIA Asset in White House

George H W Bush - Best CIA Asset in White House

WASHINGTON DC - With the passing of George H W Bush on November 30th, thousands took time to remember the man he was, and to be thankful for many of the things which he had done. In fact, his accomplishments were so profound that many of the most pow...

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Funny story: Did Emmanuel Macron Invite the Trumps to an Illuminati Ritual in Paris?

Did Emmanuel Macron Invite the Trumps to an Illuminati Ritual in Paris?

A million rumors and conspiracy theories are swirling on Twitter about French President Emmanuel Macron and his connection to Occult Magick. Recently, the feds hacked Facebook and circulated a picture of Macron with his hands making the Illuminati si...

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Funny story: Illuminati Denies Any Connection to the Trump Clan

Illuminati Denies Any Connection to the Trump Clan

Head of the Illuminati, David Rockefeller, denied that the Illuminati would ever have anything to do with Trump, his Cabinet, or his family. "The Illuminati, if it did exist, would never stoop to the level of supporting wannabe tinhorn dictators.

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Funny story: Illuminati Interview

Illuminati Interview

Our reporter from U-R-FKDmagazine met up with Illuminati member Sir Reginald Adder at the National Liberal Club London. Sir Reggie does not confess to being a member of the Illuminati but our reporter who is a distant cousin knows it to be a fact, hence his ability to gain access to Adder in the first place. The subject he wished to find his response to was ISIS and its current vendetta against th...

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Funny story: "Illuminati Too Disrespectful" Says President Obama

"Illuminati Too Disrespectful" Says President Obama

ST. PAUL, MN - At a Minnesota Town Hall meeting, President Obama spent the afternoon telling everyone how unfair it was for people to blame him in "phony scandals." Although some had been led to believe there would be discussion of local issues,...

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Funny story: Illuminati World Hairdressing Council issues fatwa over Yulia Tymoshenko's hausfrau braids

Illuminati World Hairdressing Council issues fatwa over Yulia Tymoshenko's hausfrau braids

Chicken Kiev, Ukraine - The enlightened masters' red alert comes as jailed Ukrainian opposition leader Yulia Tymoshenko was freed on compassionate grounds this morning from incarceration for crimes against hair-brained beauty products and the peroxid...

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Funny story: Has George Soros Replaced US Federal Government?

Has George Soros Replaced US Federal Government?

WASHINGTON DC - Some time after the inauguration of President Obama, George Soros began telling people how satisfying it was to buy the entire US Federal Government. Establishing One-Party-Rule in the 2008 Elections may have cost $5.3 Billion, but So...

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Funny story: Benghazi - Space Aliens Admit Dropping Obama Brain

Benghazi - Space Aliens Admit Dropping Obama Brain

WASHINGTON, DC - On the afternoon of September 11, 2012, the White House began pre-party warmups, unaware of an impending attack in Benghazi, Libya. Young staffers, election strategists, and political aides walked through the halls, pointing at each...

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Funny story: Illuminati predict Belgium's Queen Fabiola next for the chop as Dutch monarch finally chickens out

Illuminati predict Belgium's Queen Fabiola next for the chop as Dutch monarch finally chickens out

Amsterdam - The abdication of Holland's Queen Beatrix Potter has started a chain reaction with Belgian malingerer Queen Fabiola next for the chop according to Hellfire Club sources tonight. Beatrix has channeled the Dutch queen for 33 years on a l...

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Funny story: Illuminati sends 4.0 quake to Maine warning US not to vote for Obama

Illuminati sends 4.0 quake to Maine warning US not to vote for Obama

PORTLAND, Maine (ABSNN) - An earthquake that registered 4.0 struck just west of Portland just before 8 p.m. this evening. The Illuminati has taken responsibility for the temblor and "vows to cause an even greater quake should Mitt Romney fail to be...

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Funny story: Casey Anthony & Nancy Grace sued for $3 billion in Illuminati plot

Casey Anthony & Nancy Grace sued for $3 billion in Illuminati plot

ORLANDO, Florida (ABSNN) - Casey Anthony, the Most Hated Woman in America, was acquitted in the murder of her child Caylee who died more than three years ago. Her legal trouble has not ended, not by a long shot. She is still in the middle of a laws...

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Funny story: Taylor Swift arrested for Mann Act violations concerning Conor Kennedy

Taylor Swift arrested for Mann Act violations concerning Conor Kennedy

HYANNIS PORT MA (ABSNN) - Taylor Swift, 22, was indicted this morning by a federal grand jury for violating the Mann Act, after admitting that she drove Conor Kennedy, then 17-years-old, across state lines and the two "engaged in heavy petting, but only outside my tee shirt." "The Grand Jury had two federal crimes from which to choose to indict, Ms. Taylor," said assistant US Attorney William J...

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Funny story: The Illuminati Admit to Writing Major Portions of ObamaCare

The Illuminati Admit to Writing Major Portions of ObamaCare

ST. MORITZ, SWITZERLAND - In a festival-like gathering, Secret Societies held a conference celebrating the US Supreme Court ruling which effectively terminated use of the judicial system to limit unchecked powers of unelected bureaucrats appointed by...

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Funny story: Skull 'N' Bones crop circle sprouts on Rebekah Brooks' lawn

Skull 'N' Bones crop circle sprouts on Rebekah Brooks' lawn

Chipping Norton - The symbol of Yale University's darkest arts and crafts society has reared its shadowy face outside Rebekah Brooks' Oxfordshire mansion. The cultish secret club has served as foreign conflict tool for President George Bush Senior...

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