Democrat Congress to Make "Capitalism" Illegal by 2020

Funny story written by Zabdgrov667

Friday, 13 September 2019

image for Democrat Congress to Make "Capitalism" Illegal by 2020
Mao and Other Anti-Capitalists Killed 80 Million, But Dems Are "Different."

NEW YORK - A recent CNBC business segment with Jim Cramer reported that Wall Street would face "annihilation" if Elizabeth Warren were to be elected President of the United States in 2020. Although an "Ultra-Millionaire Tax" got the most attention, there were many campaign proposals which would eliminate business. The ideas championed by Warren have made Bernie Sanders' version of the 1936 Soviet Constitution seem tame.

Under Bernie Sanders, Wall Street Executives would not be much different from the Russian Oligarchs who served Josef Stalin. Despite being Marxist-Socialist-Communist, Russia still has Oil COMPANIES ... but the difference in Russia is that Oligarchs who fail "Dear Leader" often die in "terrible accidents." One Wall Street billionaire commented that as long as he still flew on private jets, lived in huge mansions, and drank thousand-dollar bottles of champagne, then he would be perfectly happy in a Marxist-Socialist America run by Bernie.

Warren strikes fear in Wall Street, because she favors a Chinese Anti-Capitalist Totalitarian model of economic and social governance. An example of China's treatment of billionaires can be seen with Jack Ma (worth over $30billion), who recently stepped down as Alibaba's chairman. Alibaba is essentially the China version of the Amazon marketplace, and many financial experts expect Jack Ma to die in a terrible accident within the next 12 months, leaving his fortune to the "People's Benevolent State Services Office" in Beijing.

Modern Monetary Theory (MMT) - perfected by China and Google

When China is described as a "Currency Manipulator" (arbitrary changing value of their Printed Money), it merely CONFIRMS that they agree with the MMT Globalist Economic Principles. The Google Artificial Intelligence (AI) collaborations in China are more than Search Engine Technology. The Chinese "Social Credit System" determines individual access to goods and services, meaning that some things are "Free for Good Citizens", but people with "Low Scores" might not be able to buy certain medicines or tickets for travel.

Eliminate Dollar as a Currency ... pay by Digital Google-Face-Coin

How can Democrats get the money for $90TRILLION of "Free Government Stuff"? ... Eliminate the US DOLLAR, and then everything can be FREE while the term "National Debt" becomes meaningless. Elizabeth Warren proposed "the most efficient government program ever" - by eliminating the US Treasury first, and then combining the IRS, Social Security, and Medicare with Google, FaceBook, BitCoin, and NASDAQ.

Without the US Dollar, Congress would not have to worry about budgets. Unemployment would be a thing of the past, as the Department of Labor would assign each worker with a Living-Wage-Position and FREE Housing. The Department of Education would use each person's Social Score to determine if they got a FREE education at Harvard, or a free re-education at a remote undisclosed location run by the CIA.

Democrats in Congress are very grateful for many ideas and legislative language from the Trilateral Commission, Illuminati, and the Bilderberg group. However, globalists and members of various shadow organizations admitted that they could not have created a bill to put before the US Congress without "stealing" the Chinese Social Credit System and the Google Totalitarian Surveillance State AI software.

During the September Democrat Presidential Candidate Debate in Houston, only Elizabeth Warren solidly supported the Anti-Capitalist Cashless America Agenda. Other candidates stuck with squishy platitudes, calls for expert economic advisory committees, and talk of building the "Real Democratic Socialist Utopia" in place of the failed US Constitution.

Currently, President Trump is expected to veto any bill that makes it a crime to be a billionaire, or criminalizes requests for money in exchange for goods and services, or declares that all real-estate, valuable objects, and intellectual property belong to the government. Therefore, all the recent promises of the Democrat Presidential Candidates are basically an epic, galaxy-sized load of bull-poop.


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more