British Foreign Secretary (BFS) Appeases Arabs
The BFS, related to pre WWII PM Neville Chamberlain, says "the Gaza conflict will agitate the Arab street." No mention is made that Hamas rockets and homicide bombers have agitated the Israeli street.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 January 2009
South Korean Joke
The South Korean scientist who introduced the first human clowning Monday as a joke has been taken away and seltzer boarded.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
Spots On Wall Street
President Bush says that greed plus all those people jumping off roofs created current Wall Street plunge.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
Obese American Therapy
American Obese People Inc. are headed for Korea to take therapy of attempting to climb Pork Chop Hill.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
Today's Kids Liking Solar
Science Digest: Today's 6-10 year-olds showing lots of interest in solar power, especially of the magnifying glass effects on an ant hill.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
Shocking Hold-Up In Dayton
A Quick Stop manager in Dayton, Ohio, who was held up by a robber with a stun gun, says he's still trying to get over the initial shock.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
Limbaugh Pops Off
Barack Obama's latest cabinet appointee announcement believed be the cause of Rush Limbaugh's spontaneous explosion in mid-harangue.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
Removed Penis Remains
A hospital in Portland, Oregon is being sued after a surgeon accidentally leaves removed penis inside patient Undergoing sex-change.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
New Sex Education brings Down Birthrate
In London's Chelsea area, schoolchildren are taught to try oral sex in an attempt to bring down the teenage birthrate. In the best English tradition, they are being asked to keep a stiff upper lip.
written by IN SEINE, 06 January 2009
Big Six OK Too
All BIG THREE makers of Levitra, Viagra, and Cialis say they are doing fine during the recession, even though the nation is going through hard times.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
Top Gun Series?
It is rumoured that the BBC are to make a soap opera loosely based on the film 'Top Gun'. A spokesman for the BBC was quick to quash the rumours by saying that "It is only a pilot programme."
written by IN SEINE, 06 January 2009
New Series on Immigrant TV
'A Place NOT in the Sun' - tour of the Brish Isles in summer at 6:00pm nightly
written by IN SEINE, 06 January 2009
Bush Feeds Poodle!
In his last week in office, President Bush will give his poodle, Tony Blair the highest civilian award in the US - the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Barak Obama was heard to say "Nice doggy!
written by IN SEINE, 06 January 2009
'Gay' Iguana Discovered
A spectacular pink type of Galapagos iguana promises to rewrite the family's evolutionary history. Scientists believe it might be gay but cannot discover how the species managed to procreate.
written by IN SEINE, 06 January 2009
Dolls Hit Top Xmas Toys for 2008
The hit list of top toys for Christmas 2008 were the Barbie and Ken Bondage set followed a close second by the Mrs. Beasley's Abortion Clinic.
written by Rusty, 06 January 2009
Pan-EU driving offence enforcement a Joke
In 2008 UK speed cameras spotted 169,361 offending foreign vehicles that could not be pursued or prosecuted because they were not registered on the DVLA computer system.
written by Rusty, 06 January 2009
Pottery firm 'Broke'.
Iconic china and ceramics firm Waterford Wedgwood goes into administration after their research department's failure to come up with an novel and unbreakable bouncing clay.
written by Rusty, 06 January 2009
China to 'clean up' Internet
Chinese censors say images of pretty girls in suggestive poses accessed via the internet are unhealthy and damage men's physical and mental health by causing erections and the need to masturbate
written by Rusty, 06 January 2009
Scientists dismiss 'Detox' myth
Sense About Science reviewed hundreds of detox products, saying all are more scent than substance. Just consume plenty of fresh fruits, veggies and water, and have a good crap every day.
written by Rusty, 06 January 2009
Colour Discrimination
The BBC is to replace a doll based on the Upsy Daisy character from In the Night Garden as critics say it is too light-skinned. The replacement doll will be a seasick vomit shade of Hulk green.
written by Rusty, 06 January 2009
Gaza Strip Restocked with Drinking Water
Fluorastame, a new brand of drinking water, produced by Israel for the Gaza strip, is being let through the border. The solution contains maximal fluorine and aspartame to "make peace".
written by Aspartame Boy, 06 January 2009
Jewish incursion into Gaza
Jewish leaders denied a report that the incursion was really launched after hearing some loose change was laying around unprotected in Gaza
written by disciple, 06 January 2009
Elephant shot outside UN Building
Police are investigating the mysterious shooting of a elephant outside the UN building in New York.The elephant was 1 year old. Authorities believe that the shooter may have a dislike for trunk calls.
written by whatinthe world, 06 January 2009
Discusted Couple Walk Out During Movie
Couple in small town in Kentucky get up and walk out of their home entertainment center over vulgar movie content.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
Cave Drawings Deciphered
Archaeologists finally decipher cave drawings: "Whole tribe feel funny after burning new weed in fire. Og see pink Woolly Mammoth."
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
Casinos Losing Wampum
Indian Casinos intake down some twenty percent wampum during 2008 headed for Washington to ask for bailout.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
Gives Six Pints, Ghost
Hemophiliac, who got stoned out of his mind New Year's night, gives up to six pints of blood at six different clinics, also gives up the ghost.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
New Year's Resolution
Local alcoholic says he's just trying to get through the rest of his life by taking it one drink at a time.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
Nuther Danza Sitcom
Tony Danza signed up for his twenty-first Sitcom to be broadcast on Friday night in Guatemala.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
100th Do-Wap Special
The Public Broadcasting System has announced the 100th Jerry Butler-hosted Do-Wap Money Raising Special beginning in February.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
Hole In One
In Sacramento, California, an eighty-two year-old golfer credits Viagra for scoring a hole in one.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2009
