Credit crisis: interest rates drop
Surveys say that during the current financial crisis, the rate of interest has dropped significantly. The average member of the public now has 20% less interest in the crisis than when it started.
written by MonkeyInTheBath, 20 January 2009
The Meaning of 'Financial Liquidity'
An elderly man from Milton Keynes has discovered what 'financial liquidity' really means; When he checked his current pension details today, he wet his pants.
Czech Euro Art, 'Entropa', Cost Kept at Minimum
It can now be revealed that Czech artists only 'spent a penny' (0.0007€) on the Bulgarian toilet feature of 'Entropa'. Commissioners have been ordered to cover up.
Computer Virus Hits Jails
A worm has been deveoped by criminals to emerge from bars of soap in the prison showers. It is known as 'The Con-fucker virus'. Infected prisoners can easily be spotted by their smiling faces.
Former President of the United States, George W. Bush stated today that....oh who gives a rat's ass?
Bleeding Heart Image Captured
Doctors in London, England have captured the first images ever of a bleeding heart...and yes the patient was a liberal.
Despite the weather, Hillary Clinton was hot at the Obama Inauguration at not only seeing Obama become president but, with all the crowding in DC, having to share a bed with Bill the night before.
Britney Traces Ancestry
According to the National Questioner, Britney Spears has traced her ancestry all the way back to Rehab the Harlot.
Man Unhappy About Weiner Size
A mathematician from El Paso, Texas has sued Oscar Meyer Weiners after finding that his foot-long hot dogs are only 11.635 inches long.
Speed Bumps and Roundabouts
It has been announced by an anonymous idiot that roundabouts with speedbumps all round them are to be the new craze of Britain. Another addition will be speed cameras and traffic lights.
written by Gregarino, 20 January 2009
Parents, Watch Those Names
The completion of a ten-year study by the FBI reveals that over 55 percent of all arrested mobsters have the middle name of "The".
The WHO (World Health Organization)says it "Won't Be Fooled Again" over recent reports of Jackalope Flu in Texas.
Surgeon General Warning
The Surgeon General warns that the high chemical content of smokeless tobacco could flame up in the mouths of those chewers who still have teeth with fillings.
Bigfoot Toe Fungus
The National Questioner reports that a mysterious toe fungus has wiped out a whole tribe of Bigfoot in the Oregon woods.
Al-Qaeda Plot Foiled
In the midst of Tuesday's Inauguration, Homeland Security reports that the latest al-Qaeda plot has been foiled by writer's block.
WalMart officials said to be jittery after the opening of the first ChinMart in the United States on Tuesday.
Limbaugh At It Again
Rush Limbaugh on his show yesterday attempted to link President Barack Obama to radical ties, tee shirts.
Suicide Bombers Collide
A suicide bomber headed straight for Baghdad accidentally collided with a suicide bomber headed for Mosul this morning, leaving a huge crater in the ground big enough to hold 144 virgins.
Boring Bono at Obama Bash
Boring Bono from Useless2 was making desperate attempts to self publicise at the Obama bash. O'Bama, also of Irish decent, was seen prising the aged rocker from his backside at todays party.
written by jeremy griffiths, 20 January 2009
Juan Valdez - A Man, His Burro, His Coffee, and His AK-47
The Colombian Senate taking into account the tremendous revenue generated from the drug market votes to change it's national slogan from "The Land of Coffee," to "The Land of Unmarked Bills."
The Chevron Sombrero
The Happy Head Sombrero Co. of Cancun, Mexico gets into The Guinness Book of Records by creating the world's largest sombrero. It is later sold to Chevron who will use it as an off-shore drilling rig.
Excuse Me Sir, Is That Your Lipstick?
The winner of this year's Annual Best Looking Moustache Contest in Naples, Italy was disqualifed when it was learned that he was really a woman.
For Sale: The Country of Laos (Inquire Within)
Israel fed up with having to constantly fight with it's neighbors has decided to buy the country of Laos and move the entire Israeli nation there, lock, stock, and bagels.
A Squirrel With An NYU Sweater
It has been so cold in New England lately that a lot of the wildlife has been seen wearing old discarded sweaters.
Welcome To Mexico?
El Paso Border Patrol Agents report that an illegal alien somehow became disoriented and he mistakingly snuck back into Mexico.