Dogs can write Shakespeare
In Newry, N. Ireland today, it was found out that Springer Spaniels can write Shakspeare plays such as; MacBeth, A midsummer Night's dream, Hamlet etc. Howver this is at the expense of their tonsils.
written by Pquinn441, 30 January 2009
Athiest Florist Arrested
Three local florists in Emeryville, California have been rounded up by police this morning and arrested for doing secret stem cell research!
Satire Site Sued
The one millionth internet satire site, "Deep Pelican Balls" is being sued by the original "Deep Pelican Balls".
Cat Changing Again
According to the National Questioner, Steven Demetre Georgiou (Cat Stevens) or Yussef Islam is planning to change his name to Bubba.
Gore Warns Of Nudists
Former VP Al Gore's warning that in the near future, there will be nudist colonies as far north as North Dakota, not drawing much anger.
Extra Ear Wax Needed
The Madame Tussaud's wax image of President Barack Obama only awaiting the arrival of the extra wax for the ears.
Party Animal Rights
The New York Times reports that the new Party Animal Rights League is growing by leaps and bounds, lampshade hats required at all meetings.
New Car's Feature Useless
A new study by Consumer's Guide says that the air bags on the new GMC nuclear-powered cars are completely useless.
"Jimmy Carter's Own"
Jiffy Peanut Butter has introduced it's new "Jimmy Carter's Own" Salmonella-free peanut butter, smooth or crunchy.
Obama an alien
Not only is our President landmarkly black, it emerged yesterday, Barack Obama is also an alien, from The Sun.
written by ChrisAshby13, 30 January 2009
Englishman and Swede make history
A 37 year old man from Stoke and a 24 year old lady from Stockholm Sweden have made history as the first people to make love, naked, in the London Eye. Now that's voyeurism for you!
written by whatinthe world, 30 January 2009
Woman gives birth to 8
She already has 6 other kids and when asked why she has so many kids, she responded, "I can't count"
written by disciple, 30 January 2009
US Economy Shrinks 3.8%
The US economy shrank by 3.8% last quarter, according to figures released today. American waist measurements decreased by the same percentage. IQ's are up, as GW Bush is currently out of the country.
All In This Together
Blonds around the country have told reporters from Maine to California that, during the present recession/depression, they aren't having any more fun that anyone else.
Buzzard Deaths Unintentional
The game warden in North Carolina says that a family there accidentally threw out a tofurky on Thanksgiving instead of placing in the garbage and that explained the deaths of a dozen buzzards.
Brand New Poll Out
A brand new poll out this morning says that it is completely out of money and can't tell you a ****** thing, so go away.
VP Cheney Still Helping Out
Former VP Cheney, seen still around Washington with hands wrapped, said he suffered some slight burns trying to help the White House janitor burn some old papers cluttering up the place.
A bum off the street found his way into the congressional hearings on the bailouts this morning and went on the mike requesting the bailout of a cheeseburger and a cup of coffee.
No Toilet Paper
An apparently paperless employee on guard at the Ancient Egyptian Display in Memphis, Tennessee, has used the mummy wrappings of Toot Uncommon as toilet paper.
A citizen of Macon County, Georgia apparently completely misunderstood a sign there on a restaurant stating "Drive Through Window".
Enquiring Minds Want To Know
The National Enquirer, which has gained more credibility with the Edwards Affair exposure, has now exposed another urban legend, one that they made up themselves in 1996.
Nokia Reports Record UK Sales
Mobile phone company Nokia has announced a record 34% increase in UK sales. Reports are that the bulk of sales are to PM Gordon Brown, currently smashing three phones a week in uncontrolled rages.
Virgin Boss to open up Indian Restaurant Chain
Sir Richard Branson is considering opening an Indian Fast food chain following a complaint from a disgruntled airline passenger. "I want to exploit the free advertising!" he said today.
written by IN SEINE, 30 January 2009
'Too many' cannot read or write
MPs have said that an "unacceptably" high number of people in England cannot read, write and count properly. "You could end up being an MP if you don't change your ways." they warn.
written by IN SEINE, 30 January 2009