The Inagural Steetwalkers
Washington D.C. police have established "Prostitution Free Zones" due to the Inaguration festivities. Any hookers violating this ordinance face a $300 fine or one hour's fee, whichever is greater.
The U.S. Airways Jet's 'Black Box'
Divers have recovered the U.S. Airways Jet's 'Black Box' and sent it to Washington D.C. A spokesman for the NTSB did want to make it perfectly clear that they now call it the 'African-American Box.'
Good Riddance Dick...Cheney
Dick Cheney who many consider to be the most unpopular vice-president in America's history is so upset at how the media treated him that he plans to move to the South Pole.
ABC Is "Desperate"
ABC capitalizing on the success of one of it's top rated shows, "Desperate Housewives" plans to introduce in March, "Desperate Househusbands."
The Super Bowl Commercials: $3 Million Per Each Half Minute
Super Bowl ads to cost $3 million for each 30 second commercial. General Motors and FedEx complain it is too high. So NBC has decided that instead they will charge $300,000 for a 3 second spot.
Golf 2009: It's All About The Caddies
The PGA reports attendance to golf tournaments declined substantially in 2008. They announce that to generate more fans they are implementing a new rule. All caddies will be bikini-clad females.
Abominable Snowman Sightings
Reported sightings in the Himalayas by climbers, of the abominable snowman are yeti to be confirmed.
The U.S. Airways Jet No Longer A Boat
The U.S. Airways jet that crashed into the Hudson River has finally been lifted from the ice-laden River. And as was expected all of the hub caps are missing.
The Best Built Limousine In America
President-elect Barack Obama is really trying to help the auto industry get back on it's feet. He requested that his Inaguration Limousine be built by Ford, Chrysler, and General Motors.
Small Boy Creates Mass Grave
Police in Derby have found a mass grave containing 3,000 batteries of different sizes. The boy said; "If I cremated them, they would've exploded, so I buried them instead - they're all dead anyway!"
Tony Hart to have organ gallery
Tony Hart, the recently deceased artist famous for presenting children's TV programmes, is to have his internal organs removed and nailed to a wall in a gallery in tribute to his TV work.
written by MonkeyInTheBath, 18 January 2009
Delayed Bush Syndrome Hits Returning Troops
The Veterans Administration has released a report that nearly 30,000 returning troops from Iraq have "Delayed Bush Syndrome", often making up totally new words in the middle of their sentences.
South Gonna Rise Again?
The southern United States are threatening to succeed from the Union once again. This time it's over the 50% rise in the cost of cornpone.
FEMA Responds To Obama Questions
In response to still another inquiry being conducted by the new Obama team, FEMA has send an official reply that blames their slow response to the Katrina Hurricane mess on Mapquest.
Abraham Backbone of Obama Inauguration
On Inauguration Day, Pres-elect Obama will be sworn in on a slab of baby back ribs in the style of Abraham Lincoln. According to the inaugural committee, Old Abe favored simple foods. Pass the sauce!
written by Kea Toff, 18 January 2009
Channel 4 to merge with channel 5
If channel 4 go ahead and merge with channel 5 it will become channel 9. 'Channel 9 News' was prominent in 'The Fast Show', shown on BBC1 and usually featured Boutros Boutros Gali. SCORCHIO!!!
Third Bird Strike For Hudson Airliner
It seems birds rule the air! Two geese brought down an airliner which had to ditch in the Hudson river. Now, a huge Crane is pulling it it out again. Will it fly again? Who knows!
No, It's Trooo..'onest Injun!
The internet world was in shock last night when it emerged The Spoof is in fact the brain child of a group of jobbing libel lawyers trying to drum up new business...
written by I_see_no_ships, 18 January 2009
Kim Kardashian To Star As Paris Hilton
Kim Kardashian will star in a Fox reality show about a girl who does nothing. Paris Hilton was originally chosen for the part, but her agent said that Miss Hilton was much too busy doing nothing.
The Old Colombian Pyramid Scheme
Colombian police arrested two individuals involved in a multi-million dollar pyramid scheme. Police said one victim became suspicious when he noticed the pyramid was really made up of styrofoam.