The Gov. Cuomo Action Figure Doll is Flying Off the Shelves
NEW YORK CITY – The toy manufacturing company Toypaloosa is reporting that sales of the new Governor Andrew Cuomo Action Figure Doll are going through the roof. Governor Cuomo has become very popular of late because he conducts his daily C-19 pres...
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15 Year-Old French Girl Gets Book Published: Writers Commit Mass Suicide
New York -- Flavia Bujor, a 15 year old girl from Paris, France became a published author this past week, sparking a wave of mass-suicides among writers across the globe.
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Depressed Pigeon Misses Shitting on People
(New York, New York) Cher Ami, an ordinary New York City pigeon named after the famous British homing pigeon, is suffering from extreme depression and downright anger now that the city has entered its sixth week of lockdown. We caught up with Cher on...
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McDonalds Opens Store In New York City For Only Halal Food
McDonalds fast food organisation has opened its first store in New York that will sell only Halal Food. They have made two delicous new burgers made with Halal meat called the McHal and the McLamb. The McHal will cost only 99c and comes with a gau...
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Saddam Hussein Signs Underwear Deal with Calvin Klein
NEW YORK - Calvin Klein announced a three-year deal with Saddam Hussein in which the former Iraqi dictator would appear in a series of advertisements modeling fashionable underwear. "We want to show the world that every man can improve his image by w...
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Spiderman Quits Law Enforcement, Becomes Pizza Boy
Marvel Comics character and part-time superhero Spiderman announced his retirement today to a stunned New York City and a number of delighted criminal masterminds.
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Queens Man Singlehandedly Making America Old-School Again
Mayor Of New York City Manages To Cut The Crime Rate In Half
Courtney Love to Attend Finishing School
Bush nominates Bolton as US Ambassassador to the UN
Donald Trump Takes Over Vatican: Tells Pope "You're Fired!"
Minnie Mouse Arrested in NYC's Times Square
Yankees to Execute "Old and New" Relief Pitcher Strategy
Realtor Can't Suppress Laughter while Showing Rush Limbaugh's Manhattan Condo
Florida Man Warns New Yorkers
NYC Police Arrest Naked Gyrating Man
Lady Gaga Gets Makeup Tips from Raccoons Invading NYC
Britney Spears Arrested in New York
Hulk Porn Greeted With Bad Press
NEW YORK CITY-Comic book legend Stan Lee announced that the release of Marvel's new adult movie ‘Hulk In The Pants' will be delayed due to the string of bad press the unreleased movie has already received from critics.
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Dan Rather Joins Naked News Team
NEW YORK - CBS News anchorman Dan Rather will not go gently into that good night after his final broadcast. He will go naked instead. Rather, 73, announced this morning that he is joining the staff of Naked News, where he will serve as weatherman an...
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Martha Stewart flees country with Michael Jackson
NEW YORK - In an eleventh hour decision, Martha Stewart and Michael Jackson have fled the country for more forgiving shores and, according to a source in the French government, both are now official residents of France with no fears of extradi...
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No-talent kid says he is Bob Dylan's son
NEW YORK CITY -- A young man claiming to be the son of Bob Dylan has come forward to say that he cannot follow in his father's footsteps because he has no talent and doesn't care to have any.
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Osama's Niece Is A Terrorist.
New York - Osama's Niece, Wafah Dufour, is fed up with Americans "not accepting her", she said in an interview with GQ magazine. "Everyone relates me to that man, and I have nothing to do with him (Osama)", she told r...
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Crazed Clown Car Chase (National Alliteration Championships soon)
A crazed clown was spotted driving down a major New York highway in an exploding stunt car at noon today. The clown later revealed to be local legend, Stinko the Clown, put his floppy shoed foot to the pedal, which in turn was put to the metal in per...
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Sing Sing Prison Confiscates Over 3,000 Illegal Cell Phones During Surprise Inspection
OSSINING, New York - Officials at Sing Sing Prison have just informed the media of the results of a surprise inspection. A correction facility spokesperson who would only give her initials, V.Y. said that a group of 43 Sing Sing prison guards sear...
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Deutsche Bank penalized and pays $150m for Jeffrey Epstein ties - but not the one he used to commit suicide
The beleaguered financial institution Deutsche Bank are reviewing their questionable investment in Jeffrey Epstein’s collection of fine silk ties, as it could be regarded as distasteful. Brinhilda Von B’Lox, the bank's risk analyst, said ‘Epstein…
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Dissatisfied Coffee Shop Customer Decides to Take His Business Elsewhere
Dissatisfied with the wait-time for a cup of coffee to go at his (formerly) regular neighborhood coffee shop, Bean Stop, New York City resident Dan Foley recently decided to take his business elsewhere. “There were three people in line ahead of me...
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Jeffrey Epstein Invites Women’s Soccer Team To His Mansion
BILLINGSGATE POST: After turning down offers to visit the White House and the International House of Pancakes, the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team accepted an offer from Jeffrey Epstein to visit his mansion in New York City. A ticker-tape parade through...
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New York Man Says There Are Two Things You Can Be Sure Of
A man in New York has spoken out about what he says are the two things in life that are so certain, that they are absolutely impossible to escape. Andrew Smith, of Long Island, was evaluating the drudgery, lack of freedom, and uncertainty of moder...
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Tekashi69 COVID-19 Fundraiser Song Released!
(Brooklyn, New York) Rapper, social media influencer, urban poet, and Internet meme groundbreaker Tekashi69 wasted no time after his recent release from a Brooklyn jail (due to the threat of the COVID-19 pandemic) to release a new song meant to raise...
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Many Democrats Are Now Wanting Gov. Andrew Cuomo to Throw His Hat Into the Presidential Ring
NEW YORK CITY - Governor Andrew Cuomo is receiving lots of praise from many people, including Republicans who are just simply fed up with Trump’s endless charade of non-presidential antics. People are saying that the New York governor conducts him...
Read full storyFunny New York Headlines
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Hitler ad compares MoveOn.org to Bush
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Susan Sarandon's Breasts, JeLo's Butt Protest Disease, Famine, "Bad Stuff"
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Statue of Liberty Head Kills 4
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David Blaine pulls card
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Pfizer Earnings Up 1177% on Sudafed Sales to Methamphetamine Labs
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New York Giants Hire Jessica Simpson to Date Tom Brady
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US Airways Airbus A320 Crashes Into Hudson River Because Woman Was Overweight
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Terror Trial Slated for Governor's Island
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Drone Crashes Through Window, Lands in NY Apartment
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Song celebrates streets of San Francisco
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Christina Aguilera Downgraded By Wachovia Securities
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Vicious Cones Attack
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New York Times signs Ward Churchill
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Steinbrenner and Torre Fisticuffs over Kentucky Derby Horses
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MLB Takes an Even Closer Look at Steroid Use
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Popular EDM concert "Electric Zoo" Cancelled, Ticket Holders Outraged
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Martians: Earth Day, Phooey! We Want a Mars Day!
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Thy sins forgiven - go forth and urinate
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Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz Demand Recount of 1939 Oscar Race
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No Parking: A Story of Revenge
