A Female Prisoner Models The Latest Sexy Prison Swimsuit For Female Inmates
OSSINING, New York – (Satire News) – The state of New York has always been at the forefront when it comes to prisons, pizza, professional sports teams, and now womens prison wear. Omnium Gatherum reporter Ashburn Wasabi reports that Sing Sing Pris…
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Donald Trump Says He’s Going To Run For Governor of New York
PALM BEACH, Florida – (Satire News) – The word out of Mar-a-Lago is that the former resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue has decided to throw his red MAGA hat in the ring and run for governor of New York against the sitting governor, Andrew Cuomo.
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Brooklyn Streetwalkers Prefer Wearing Daisy Duke Short Shorts To Miniskirts
BROOKLYN – (Satire News) – The New York Police Department has just issued a notice that 91% of all Brooklyn prostitutes would rather wear short shorts instead of short skirts. Detective Jacobi Ribbatiski, stated that when hookers wear their tight…
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15 Year-Old French Girl Gets Book Published: Writers Commit Mass Suicide
New York -- Flavia Bujor, a 15 year old girl from Paris, France became a published author this past week, sparking a wave of mass-suicides among writers across the globe.
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Saddam Hussein Signs Underwear Deal with Calvin Klein
NEW YORK - Calvin Klein announced a three-year deal with Saddam Hussein in which the former Iraqi dictator would appear in a series of advertisements modeling fashionable underwear. "We want to show the world that every man can improve his image by w...
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No-talent kid says he is Bob Dylan's son
NEW YORK CITY -- A young man claiming to be the son of Bob Dylan has come forward to say that he cannot follow in his father's footsteps because he has no talent and doesn't care to have any.
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Christo's Latest Project
Why Gov. Cuomo Struck Out With The Young Chicks
President Bush's Image Revered as Religious Icon
New York Governor Cuomo: 164 Sudden Covid Deaths, Bullet Holes Aside
Mayor Brags that NYC Only Fifth-Worst City to Live In
Crazed Clown Car Chase (National Alliteration Championships soon)
Owens named AP Sports Writer Asshole of the Year
Weather Delays Hamper Iraq Insurgents' Travel Plans
Many Democrats Are Now Wanting Gov. Andrew Cuomo to Throw His Hat Into the Presidential Ring
Survivor Richard Hatch Wins Immunity Against IRS
Queens Man Admits to Being Non-Essential Worker
The Gov. Cuomo Action Figure Doll is Flying Off the Shelves
Martians: Earth Day, Phooey! We Want a Mars Day!
The little green creatures have made up their minds that they aren't going to sit silently through another Earth Day while their own planet remains unrecognized. No siree! Yesterday a bunch of Martians held a protest on the steps of the main bran...
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Bowing To FCC Pressure, Howard Stern Switches To "Foreign Affairs" Format
(New York, New York) Following years of legal wrangling with the FCC, legendary New York radio personality Howard Stern has now "thrown in the towel" and converted his morning show into a "forum for discussion of pressing world iss...
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Bigfoot spotted in upstate bar: Sat alone drinking in a corner booth, left a strange tip
Patrons thought last night was just another night at The Backroom Lounge just outside Rochester. Very few noticed the “giant hairy guy” who sat brooding in a far corner, beyond the pool table, by the Men’s bathroom. “He kept his head down and lo…
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Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz Demand Recount of 1939 Oscar Race
"Gone With The Wind" won for Best Picture that year. Supposedly. But who knows, say the Munchkins. The recent error in the announcement of Best Picture in the 2017 race is the catalyst for the action of the little people, who have commented, "Hey, mi...
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Plastic surgeon claims responsibility for Ashlee Simpson lip sync disaster
NEW YORK - Dr. Jonelson Smith, the famed British plastic surgeon who performed rhinoplasty and eye enlargement on Ashlee Simpson, revealed today that while Ashlee Simpson was under the knife, he accidentally removed her talent.
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Drones Don't Get Invited to City's New Year's Eve Bash
Outrage was in evidence among drones (y'know, those flying thingies that come in all sizes and shapes) when they learned they were not invited to the massive party thrown by the city of White Plains, north of New York City. More specifically, the d...
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Economists Predict Big Pay Increases for Economists
New York City, NY - A group of economists at the New York Institute of Economics published a report forecasting a large increase in the salaries and rates paid to economists. Samuel Himes, one of the economists involved in preparing the report, said:...
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McDonalds Opens Store In New York City For Only Halal Food
McDonalds fast food organisation has opened its first store in New York that will sell only Halal Food. They have made two delicous new burgers made with Halal meat called the McHal and the McLamb. The McHal will cost only 99c and comes with a gau...
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Dan Rather Joins Naked News Team
NEW YORK - CBS News anchorman Dan Rather will not go gently into that good night after his final broadcast. He will go naked instead. Rather, 73, announced this morning that he is joining the staff of Naked News, where he will serve as weatherman an...
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New York City Prostitutes Are Now Demanding Vax Proof From Their Johns
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) – With the return of the Trumpapalooza Virus the Big Apple’s horde of streetwalkers (i.e. whores) have now announced that they will require all “Johns” (customers) to show their Covid card. Brooklyn’s infamous Maggie…
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Gay Cuban Catcher Called Up to the Mets
Enrico Sanchez, openly gay but proficient catcher in the Mets minor league system, was called up to New York this past weekend in an attempt to fill the hitting void behind the bag, as it were. Quietly defecting from Cuba in a rubber inner tube s...
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A Man in Manhattan Is Attacked With A Bowling Ball
MANHATTAN – (Satire News) – The Alpha Beta News Agency reports that a 32-year-old Central Park security guard was attacked by a homeless man yielding a Dick Weber Commemorative bowling ball. Rudyard P. Festoon, says that he was sitting on a park b…
Read full storyFunny New York Headlines
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Paris Hilton: "I like to stay at cheap hotels!"
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Jackson Pollock Paintings Unearthed
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New York Giants Hire Jessica Simpson to Date Tom Brady
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Squirrel Attacks Limey In Madison Square Park
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With Two You Get Egg Roll
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Minnie Mouse Arrested in NYC's Times Square
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Drone Crashes Through Window, Lands in NY Apartment
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Blindsided: NY Woman Learns Blind Boyfriend Not That Blind - and Has Been Seeing Someone Else
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Tekashi69 COVID-19 Fundraiser Song Released!
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Florida Man Warns New Yorkers
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Ted Koppel to honor all US troops on ABC Nightline
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Study shows people with cell phones more important than other people
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Sarah Jessica Parker Launches Scent of a Woman Fragrance
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Jets Are Lost For Space
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New Kids on the Block reform
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Man Indicted For Outsider Trading
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How Did a Piano End up in NYC's East River?
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Donald Trump Pays NBC to Renew The Apprentice Again
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New York Babies Start Yakking at Birth
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Amtrak Now Offering 'Boxcar Seating'
