NY City Mayor Eric Adams Responds to Texas Gov. Greg Abbott

Funny story written by KRS

Friday, 12 August 2022

image for NY City Mayor Eric Adams Responds to Texas Gov. Greg Abbott
THANKS and send my regards to Lou Costello

(NYC) Following the inane, misguided pre-election publicity stunt by Texas Governor Greg Abbott to send busloads of apprehended illegal immigrants to the Big Apple, Mayor Adams has reciprocated in a magnanimous gesture of interstate cooperation, by sending thousands of vermin from the New York City sewer and subway systems directly to the Governor’s Mansion in Austin Texas.

Mayor Adams told this reporter, “We appreciate Gov. Abbott’s generosity in helping ameliorate our shortage of relatively unskilled leisure service employees. In return, recognizing the terrible heatwave and drought in Texas, the toll it has taken on nature and the decimation of many species of plants and animals, we wish to help restock the declining supply of rats and mice. Nature abhors a vacuum and scientists can only speculate on the long-term impact of the immense reduction in the vermin population. If called on, the proud citizens of New York are prepared to round up thousands of stray cats and cockroaches should the ecology in Texas suffer further unprecedented losses in those species. We regret we have our own shortage of rattlesnakes, scorpions, and brown recluse spiders, but as a substitute, we can supply a modest amount of kudzu, water hyacinth, Jimson weed, and Monkeypox!”

There has been no public word of appreciation coming from the Texas Governor’s Mansion at this time, but this reporter has been told there was a telephone conversation between the Governor and the Mayor on Sunday, but Mayor Adams chose to keep the details of the exchange private. There was a very brief statement made by Mayor Adams’ Press Secretary, Esmerelda Jackson, stating “The residents of New York City cannot convey how relieved we are Governor Abbott did not send us busloads of nugative, microcephalic members of the State of Texas Congressional delegation – we have no death penalty or laws legalizing euthanasia in New York. Our community mental health services are already strained to the breaking point, so the arrival of a few hundred Texas legislators would have

been catastrophic.”

THE WIRED STREET URINAL


REPORTER: KR SCHWARTZ
August 8th, 2022

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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