Justin Bieber, Brenda Song, and Demi Lovato To Star In "The Teenage Hotties Vs. The Vuvuzela Vampires"
HOLLYWOOD - Noted Italian Producer Benigo Luigi Montemarciano has just stated that he will soon begin production on his latest motion picture entitled, The Teenage Hotties Vs. The Vuvuzela Vampires. The film will star Justin Bieber, Brenda Song, a...Read full story
Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez To Star In The TV Special "The Halloween Witches Vs. The Pumpkin Eating Vampires"
HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for the Nickelodeon Network has just announced that they will soon begin filming on a Halloween special based on Elvira McFiddletocky's 18th century novel The Halloween Witches Vs. The Pumpkin Eating Vampires. The specia...Read full story
Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber To Star As The Voices In New Cartoon Show, "Socks The Cat"
HOLLYWOOD - Young teen idols Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber have just been signed to lend their voices to cartoon characters appearing on the new animated cartoon show titled, Socks The Cat. The show is based loosely on President Bill Clinton's da...Read full story
Now that he wants to become an American, The Beeb wishes he hadn't been such an asshole
USA All the Way—Now that he's wed Hailey “Bald” Wynn, the blonde bombshell who shaves “down there,” teen heartthrob Justin “Canuck” Bieber wants to become an American. But he also wants to retain his Canuck citizenship. “As he says to me,” his blu...Read full story
Justin Bieber caught smoking dope? Maybe the Mayans were right!
HOLLYWOOD - Holy effin' shit--finally something coming out of Glitztown more interesting than Kim K.'s baby bump. Teenager Justin Bieber has been caught on film partaking of marijuana. Perhaps the Mayans were right--perhaps the world is coming to...Read full story
Justin Bieber song brings woman back from dead
Apparently cats aren't the only ones with nine lives. A woman in Kansas is lucky to be alive after dying eight times, and credits Justin Bieber for bringing her back. Marlene Wilson, 44, of Great Bend, Kansas, had been cleaning a hunting rifle...Read full story
Justin Bieber, Without Syphilis, To Appear On Vampire Diaries
Just in case you haven't been able to find out anything about Justin Bieber because of all the false syphilis rumors all over the internet, the is good news for his fans. But first the rumor, because that was what it turned out to be. "It see...Read full story
Justin Bieber's Mom Weds Accountant From Church Of England
LAS VEGAS, Nevada - In a secret ceremony, under the gaze of a plastic Elvis bust, Justin Bieber's mom, Pattie, 37, wed Niles Dibly, 56, an accountant who works in London for the Church of England. "Well I was travelling alone, taking in the sight...Read full story
Justin Bieber Disappointed After Meeting Fan
Miami- Canadian Pop Star, Justin Bieber who on Tuesday finally met longtime fan Fabiola Nunesdelatorre, 58, found the encounter anticlimactic, the award winning and multi million selling singer said. "I don't know, from her fan mail, e-mails,...Read full story
Justin Bieber Joins Insane Clown Posse
Detroit, MI Crazy clown duo, the Insane Clown Posse, whose followers include topless women and crazed looking guys called Juggalos, admitted new member Justin Bieber to the group. Justin Bieber says that he will start spraying people with Faygo P...Read full story
Justin Bieber Starting To Give Kat Von D and Jesse James Some Serious Competition in The Tattoo Department
CHICAGO - Justin Bieber says he is doing his level best to try and stay out of trouble but that's kinda like Kirstie Alley saying she is going to cut back on her cookies consumption. Bieber who appears to be trying so hard to become one of the "Bi...Read full story
Justin Bieber Loses Fan Base Temporarily, Manager Blames Hairstylist
Justin Bieber was one of the hottest singing sensations to come along in months and his meteoric rise to the top seemed to have no end in sight. That is until he got his hair cut by Mitch, the cock-eyed barber. Mitch was recommended to Bieber by h...Read full story
Justin Bieber's Mom Pleads With Him To Enter Into A Rehab Clinic To Deal With His Anger
LA BREA - Justin Bieber's mom Pattie Mallette, 36, was in La Brea visiting the world famous La Brea Tar Pits. She was quietly sitting in the La Brea Tar Pits Diner lunching on a Pancho Villa Deluxe Chicken Fajita Plate when she was approached by M...Read full story
Justin Bieber Is Wasting His Life Away, Say His Parents
A couple from Pennsylvania have spoken out about their concerns over their 6-month-old son who, they say, is "wasting his life away in idleness". Stephen and Karen Bielby, aged 21 and 21 respectively, were over the moon when Karen gave birth in No...Read full story
Justin Bieber Forming Militia, Plans to Assault Cliven Bundy Ranch
Sources say Justin Bieber is distraught over how his shenanigans have backfired. Desperate to prove himself a man and gain 'street cred', the pop star embarked on a series of misadventures last year designed to show that he's a 'bad boy'. How...Read full story
Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, and Taylor Swift Give Eliminated X-Factor Singer Drew Some Pointers On How To Succeed In The Music World
HOLLYWOOD - Drew Ryniewicz, 14, was eliminated from the latest edition of X-Factor along with hip hop rapper Astro. Drew spoke backstage with Margarita Mixx of The Tinsel Town Times Tribune and said that she cried more during her last appearance o...Read full story
Justin Bieber Buys Kim Jong-Un's Comic Book Collection From Craigslist
Pyongyang, North Korea Pop star and professional law-breaker Justin Bieber has contacted roly-poly dictator Kim Jong-Un and purchased his massive comic book collection off from Craigslist. The icing on the cake was supposedly Kim throwing in an autog...Read full story
Justine Bieber volunteers for genetic splicing which will make him manly!
LONDON, ONTARIO (ABSNN) - Young Justin Bieber, a heart throb to tweens is a fairly girlish-boy. He is a pale imitation of a wimp; a slow breeze would knock him off his feet. A 98-year-old rag picker would beat his ass in a fight. And Bieber himsel...Read full story
Justin Bieber Soaks Twitter Birds with Water Balloons
Twitter, the social networking service, was in a tizzy for a while yesterday. But it wasn't because of mechanical problems. No, Siree. The trouble was caused when singer Justin Bieber threw water balloons at a pack of twitter birds, soaking and frig...Read full story