Written by Brett Taylor

Sunday, 20 February 2011

image for Egyptians Want Justin Bieber For President
Justin Bieber

Cairo - Thousands of Egyptians turned out today to ask Pop star Justin Bieber to lead them. The march comes not long after the forced resignation of President Hosni Bubarak, and many Egyptian citizens are nervous over who will control their government.

Protester Marem Al-Jabar explained, "Why should we Egyptians not be controlled by shallow pop music, as so many westerners are? Look at Bieber. Studies show he is a greater influence on American culture than either Barack Obama or the Dalai Lama. He's all they tweet about in the U.S. I would be proud to have such a powerful young man to lead our nation."

Al-Jabar continued, "To tell the truth I'm not particularly excited about the idea of democracy in our country. I think it's an overrated idea. Look at the Americans. They have democracy, and what do they do with it? Diddly shit. If they love their precious democracy so much, how come they never vote? When they vote, what happens? Tea Partiers run amok in Congress. I'll pass, thank you."

A scuffle began when another protester interrupted Al-Jabar, snatching a pro-Bieber sign from Al-Jabar's hands and stopping on it. This protester, Karin Al-Sadat, shook his fist and shouted, "Death to Bieber! We want Lady Gaga to lead Egypt!" A heated argument erupted, with one of Al-Sadat's friends shouting, "Our godless Western infidel will beat up your godless Western infidel!"

"Fool!" Al-Jabar replied, "Do you not know that Justin Bieber's concert movie tied the record for all-time most successful concert film? Not just in this century, but ever! His video 'Baby' is one of the most watched You Tube clips ever! Plus he has proved his versatility with acting appearances on Saturday Night Live and CSI!" Before the pro-Gaga group could reply, an associate of Al-Jabar's chimed in, "Your godless pop star infidel is a weak female! This land will never be ruled by a weak pop star female! We demand a mighty male godless pop star!"

These events are being closed watched by the U.S. government. As of this writing, Barack Obama has not said which pop star he will endorse for leadership of Egypt.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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