McCain/Palin Poll Surge Sends Obama Smoking Cigarettes 'Again'
Democratic insiders at the democratic national headquarters in Chicago have reported that upon seeing the latest polls surge in favour of McCain/Palin that Barack Obama broke down and started smoking again. Obama had given up smoking since runnin...Read full story
Cindy McCain To Pose Nude
CASA GRANDE, Arizona - Several months ago Cindy McCain received a call from Hugh Hefner telling her that he was going to be putting out a brand new men's magazine. He told her that it would be just like his original magazine, with the exception that...Read full story
Sarah Palin: Even If John Wins, I Plan On Resigning
FORT WALTON BEACH, Florida - In a surprising political statement, GOP vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin has told Geraldo Rivera of Fox News that even if John McCain somehow pulls it off and is elected president that she will immediately resign her vice president's position. Geraldo asked, "Governor, why in the world would you do that? and secondly, why don't you just drop out now before t...Read full story
McCain eyes Alaska's Governor Sarah Palin as Big Oil-gag Veep
Washington AC/DC - (Hustings Mess): Forget those sentimental and foolish GOP yearnings for Condoleezza Rice as John McCain's Number 2.Read full story
Wilfred Brimley to Play McCain at Convention
Hollywood - Actor Wilfred Brimley has been chosen to play John McCain at the Republican National Convention.Read full story
The Last Presidential Debate of 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008. Day before the 56th consecutive quadrennial United States presidential election. John McCain and Barack Obama are neck-to-neck in the polls. They'd agreed to have one last debate, make their case before the American people go out to vote. Looking amiable, the two men shake hands, but their backs are erect, arms rigid, robot like. Tom Brokaw clears his throat and...Read full story
Hillary Clinton Shoots Sarah Palin in Fair Fight!
Tombstone, Az - In a scene reminiscent of the old west, Hillary Clinton was in Tombstone, Arizona to give a speech to disgruntled former John McCain campaign workers when who should appear but Sarah Palin. "At first I wasn't sure that shrill voic...Read full story
Sarah Palin: Rafael Nadal is HOT!
Flushing Meadows- Sarah Palin, the new V.P. Running Mate choice of John McCain, surfaced at the U.S. Open this week. She is currently being questioned by New York Police for hanging out near the men's locker room and attempting to steal a pair of Raf...Read full story
McCain Scores with MILF VP!
Antediluvian Repub candie Johnny McC has scored big time with Alaskan Governor, former village mayor , beauty queen and present day big time MILF as his Vice Presidential choice. Desperate for some feeble sign of life , the half dead senior citiz...Read full story
The McCain-Obama Today Show Fireworks
Senator's John McCain and Barack Obama appeared on The Today Show the day after their Oct. 7 debate. Here is a transcript of the interview that Matt Lauer conducted: ML: Gentleman, welcome to The Today Show. BO: Thank you Matt. JM: Thank you my friend. And Matt before we go on let me just say two things; first of all, I want all your viewers to know that I was just kidding about that over...Read full story
Palin: Not My Fair Lady
Sarah Doolittle? - With the final days of Presidential campaigning drawing to an end and the Republican party behind in the polls, it can now be questioned by political pundits whether Sarah Palin was a hope or a hinderance to the process. As both McCain and Palin campaigned separately in the against odds campaign. Palin criss crossed the battleground plains states and McCain headed to Kenn...Read full story
McCain Claims: I'm That Troubled One to Lead a Troubled Nation!
Washington had whalebone teeth. Lincoln suffered from depression. Grant was often drunker than W in the frat days. Arthur was ginormous and Roosevelt was in a wheelchair and had a really homely wife which is why he gave so much dictation to his secretary, but that's a spoof for another time. Truman blew up cities. Eisenhower was boring. Kennedy watched too many movie starlets and Nixon was a crook...Read full story
Wow! Sexy, Former Beauty Queen, Sarah Palin, Alaskan Governor, Picked By McCain As Choice For Veep Spot!
!Hot D.C.!---Exclusive! It's the strangest Presidential race ever, but here it is. John McCain, on the heels of Barack Obama's Greek Spectacle last night, just short of togas, grapes, wine, exotic foods, and mini-orgies in the back room at the Invesc...Read full story
League of Women Voters Forces McCain and Obama Into 'Mock Duel' Before First Presidential Debate
The impartial League of Women Voters has been in discussion with both the GOP and Dem campaign managers and for the first time is making a political statement. "We at The League of Women Voters are intervening in this divisive Presidential campaign i...Read full story
McCain vows to sign on Czechoslovakia to the new missile defense system in Europe as Obama is abroad
Phoenix, Arizona - In order to counter Barack Obama's tour of U.S. troops stationed in Afghanistan, Iraq, and his first official meeting with the leaders of England, France and Germany abroad, back stateside, boot camp McCain has announced today...Read full story
John McCain's Final Gift to GOP Free 3-D Spines
Before John McCain became too ill for much physical activity he had a 3-D image of his spine created that could then be duplicated with 3-D printers, using medical plastics accepted by the human body. John McCain's deal? He will allow any of the spin...Read full story
How John Saved Wall Street
John McCain was the reason Wall Street roared back. During the plunge earlier this week, panic did set in but then the oldsters of Wall Street turned in desperation to the inspiring forecast of McCain who turns out to be older than money itself - older even than credit. "Yes," humbly confided McCain, "I was around back when 'Wall Street' was just 'Wampum Path' used by them Manhattan Indians for...Read full story
Accidental Invasion - An Alarming New Trend?
Alarmed by recent incursions into 'Bad Guy' countries by 'Good Guy' forces, officials in the tiny European country of Liechtenstein today announced new security measures in response to the "accidental invasion" last year by its closest neighbor, Swit...Read full story