Mafia Crime Boss Salvatore Goombalini Assures New Yorkers That Unlike Several US Banks, His Bank Is 110% Solid
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Salvatore Goombalini, who is the head of the biggest crime syndicate in the entire nation, has just issued a statement, stating that he wants anyone who has money in his 'family's' bank, to rest assured that unlike oth…
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All Banks Will Fall for Crypto to Rise
The banks are falling! The banks are falling! So yelled Hermann Von Moneylaunder, president of a very big and important European bank. After he took out all his money and put it into Bitcoin, that is. The banks are failing for a reason. There i…
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The Super Incredible Stainless Steel Mattress for All Your Banking Needs
Do you have your money in a bank? Fool! Don’t you realize that all banks are trying to crash themselves so that crypto can become king? That way, no nation can tax the rich EVER since how can you tax crypto if it’s located in some Singaporean’s pants…
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Man Is Going To Rob A Bank
An Englishman whose mind is in absolute turmoil with regard to how he is going to ensure the well-being of his young family after his own death, is going to rob a bank. The extremely ambitious plan was hatched today by Ken Moyswood (not real name)…
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Utterly Useless Tw*t Makes £5.6 Million Bonus
Questions were asked in the House today demanding to know from the Prime Minister how it could possibly have occurred that an utterly useless twat made £5.6 million in bonuses, on top of his salary in a recession? The Prime Minister fannied about...
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God's Banker murder panic: Putin visits Papa Ratzi
Vatican City - (Ass Press): Panic in the Vatican about some sordid 25 year old child molesting sex secrets now emerging in the God's Banker murder trial of Roberto Calvi has sent Russian President Vlad The Impaler Putain hotfoot to the Pope'...
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Chuckle Brothers to lead HBOS
Bank of America Joins Forces with Astrology.web to Introduce Automatic Fortune Teller Machine
Lloyds Lose 9 million Dollars
"You're more likely to get run-over than get a mortgage" admit banks
Coin Collector Controls AIG
Philae Brings Science Back to Earth
The Snake at the ATM Machine: First Interview
Advertising Standards says new bank advertising campaign truthful but offensive
Irish Bank uses topless tellers to raise funds
USA renamed USSR, Obama announces
Italian Prosecutors Seize Pope Benedict's $30M Bank Account
Search continues for Steve Irwin's son
Brown urges banks to 'wipe themselves clean'
The prime minister has demanded that banks admit how many "toxic asses" they have on their sheets. Gordon Brown told the Footzwootz Times the banks had to "wipe themselves clean" of toxic asses so people could stand the smell of them again. He...
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Sgt. Bilko In Charge Of Silicon Valley Bank Shutdown
BILLINGSGATE POST: Earlier in this column it was announced that Sgt. Bilko was named to replace Janet Yellen as Treasury Secretary. His pledge to account for every penny in our banking system was put to the test yesterday. A widely watched video sho…
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Rioting Bankers Mug Santa
A riot broke out yesterday when a gang of well dressed marauding ex bank executives mugged Father Christmas outside Selfridges. There were reports of serious injury especially to HBOS execs who, in turn, were mugged by Lloyds execs who claimed entitl...
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Norway killer Breivik 'a dead ringer for Lloyds TSB London 2012 TV ad animated character'
London - Someone at the Norwegian embassy has complained to the Broadcasting Standards Council. A TV cartoon character in the Lloyds TSB Olympic Torch Relay ad 'looks exactly like Anders Behring Breivik' and is causing widespread confusion. The...
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Dead leprechaun found at Fort Knox
Fort Knox - The army reports a dead leprechaun was found in the vault at Fort Knox among the gold bars, according to Colonel Jimbob. The cause of death could not be determined, as leprechauns have never been captured, dead or alive before; their bi...
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Bilderberg inaugurates 'Feudal Reserve' banking
Switzerland - The secretive Bilderberg group plans to take reserve banking to the next level, according to Mr. Z, our confidential Bilderberg conference mole. In a small caucus of top leaders, rife with royalty, it was decided to do away with the...
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US stocks fall even as brokerage firms issue kill tags and consider death for use of the word "recession"
US stocks dropped across the board Monday after a US banking giant announced a massive Wall Street cull with a record 250,000 broker 'kill' permits issued amid concerns of a deepening you-know-what. The firm said that it hoped to eliminate about...
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Beaver Crossing National Bank Closes Door: Elmer Smuckmeister Loses All
BILLINGSGATE POST: Another major bank has just bit the dust, joining Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank of New York. Beaver Crossing National Bank was founded over one hundred years ago by Homer Smuckmeister, Elmer’s great, great grandfathe…
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Pope Rushed to Hospital; Said to be Suffering 'Withdrawal Symptoms", Victoria Gotti at Bedside!
Rome is in shock with the news that once again the Vatican is under investigation for irregular banking practices, including money laundering, and the Pope's Top Banker Ettore GOTTI Tedeschi is the target of the Probe! Officials say Vatican funds...
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Flynt, Francis to Assist Federal Government in Sperm Bank Bailout
WASHINGTON, D.C. - When Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild filmmaker Joe Francis traveled to Washington to ask for $5 billion in bailout money, their expectations weren't exactly high. To their surprise, Congress offered them a deal i...
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Fundshaft hires Bubblebath-Heggerty
According to Porter economic theory companies can compete in two ways - price leadership or product differentiation. Unlike Primark where you can buy a suit for £29, fund managers are traditionally coy about disclosing all their charges, lest the cus...
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Vatican not only welcomes "bent Priests" it also loves "bent bankers"!
The Catholic church never manages to survive long without a scandal or two for it's leaders and followers to swallow. A well accepted fact that hidden amongst the ranks of its Priests there are certain undesirable elements fiddling with little boy...
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Snake Foils Bank Robbery In Progress
West Palm Beach, Florida (IP) - A civic minded serpent slithering past a First National Bank window on South Federal Highway this morning foiled a bank robbery in progress. The serpent was a very long Python that had been let loose by an owner who c...
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Banks Lobby Congress For Law Making Credit Card Defaulters indentured Servants
In what seems like an unprecedented move the bank lobby is pressing both the House and the Senate to pass sweeping legislation to designate all citizens who are in default on their credit cards as indentured servants. The legislation will affect mil...
Read full storyFunny Banks Headlines
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God's Banker murder panic: Putin visits Papa Ratzi
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US stocks fall even as brokerage firms issue kill tags and consider death for use of the word "recession"
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Flynt, Francis to Assist Federal Government in Sperm Bank Bailout
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Vatican not only welcomes "bent Priests" it also loves "bent bankers"!
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Pope Rushed to Hospital; Said to be Suffering 'Withdrawal Symptoms", Victoria Gotti at Bedside!
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Fundshaft hires Bubblebath-Heggerty
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Man Is Going To Rob A Bank
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The Super Incredible Stainless Steel Mattress for All Your Banking Needs
-
Sgt. Bilko In Charge Of Silicon Valley Bank Shutdown
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All Banks Will Fall for Crypto to Rise
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Snake Foils Bank Robbery In Progress
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Rioting Bankers Mug Santa
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Brown urges banks to 'wipe themselves clean'
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Banks Lobby Congress For Law Making Credit Card Defaulters indentured Servants
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Utterly Useless Tw*t Makes £5.6 Million Bonus
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Bilderberg inaugurates 'Feudal Reserve' banking
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Norway killer Breivik 'a dead ringer for Lloyds TSB London 2012 TV ad animated character'
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Dead leprechaun found at Fort Knox
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Beaver Crossing National Bank Closes Door: Elmer Smuckmeister Loses All
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Mafia Crime Boss Salvatore Goombalini Assures New Yorkers That Unlike Several US Banks, His Bank Is 110% Solid
