According to Porter economic theory companies can compete in two ways - price leadership or product differentiation. Unlike Primark where you can buy a suit for £29, fund managers are traditionally coy about disclosing all their charges, lest the customer should make an informed decision to put their money under the bed.
BBH, famous for telling customers that not using Aerial washing power leads to family breakdown, will now be put to task on ISAs with the brief of convincing customers that investments give a natural high 'similar to cocaine'.
After an initial discussion at a bondage party, the Fundshaft board recieved the following recommendations;
1) All fund managers must be called Robin which is deemed to be the most trustworthy name in the UK - similar to Bubba in the US.
2) The office shoeshine girls must ensure staff shoes are less shiny than visiting HNW customers as an act of deference.
3) Senior staff should must be available to take calls from the golf course even on weekdays.
4) 'Hilarious' and 'Skid Row' Income Bonds should be renamed 'Cautious' and 'Optimistic' respectively.
Many Investment Bungalows are still recovering from the Credit Crunch where it was found nobody knew what they had bought or sold since 1985.
