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Funny satire stories about Banks

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Funny story: All Banks Will Fall for Crypto to Rise

All Banks Will Fall for Crypto to Rise

The banks are falling! The banks are falling! So yelled Hermann Von Moneylaunder, president of a very big and important European bank. After he took out all his money and put it into Bitcoin, that is. The banks are failing for a reason. There i…

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Funny story: Mafia Crime Boss Salvatore Goombalini Assures New Yorkers That Unlike Several US Banks, His Bank Is 110% Solid

Mafia Crime Boss Salvatore Goombalini Assures New Yorkers That Unlike Several US Banks, His Bank Is 110% Solid

NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Salvatore Goombalini, who is the head of the biggest crime syndicate in the entire nation, has just issued a statement, stating that he wants anyone who has money in his 'family's' bank, to rest assured that unlike oth…

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Funny story: Beaver Crossing National Bank Closes Door: Elmer Smuckmeister Loses All

Beaver Crossing National Bank Closes Door: Elmer Smuckmeister Loses All

BILLINGSGATE POST: Another major bank has just bit the dust, joining Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank of New York. Beaver Crossing National Bank was founded over one hundred years ago by Homer Smuckmeister, Elmer’s great, great grandfathe…

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Funny story: Sgt. Bilko In Charge Of Silicon Valley Bank Shutdown

Sgt. Bilko In Charge Of Silicon Valley Bank Shutdown

BILLINGSGATE POST: Earlier in this column it was announced that Sgt. Bilko was named to replace Janet Yellen as Treasury Secretary. His pledge to account for every penny in our banking system was put to the test yesterday. A widely watched video sho…

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Funny story: The Super Incredible Stainless Steel Mattress for All Your Banking Needs

The Super Incredible Stainless Steel Mattress for All Your Banking Needs

Do you have your money in a bank? Fool! Don’t you realize that all banks are trying to crash themselves so that crypto can become king? That way, no nation can tax the rich EVER since how can you tax crypto if it’s located in some Singaporean’s pants…

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Funny story: Who Wants To Be a Trllionaire? You, Because You Already Are One!

Who Wants To Be a Trllionaire? You, Because You Already Are One!

For centuries people have complained that they're poor because they have little or no money in their wallet or purse or geeky fanny-pack, but new insights have come forth that would seem to contradict the concept of rich or poor. Eminent math egg-…

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Funny story: An Oklahoma Bank Turns Down Donald Trump’s $45,000 Loan Request

An Oklahoma Bank Turns Down Donald Trump’s $45,000 Loan Request

TULSA – (Satire News) – The National Rumblings News Agency has just revealed that that one-term president Donald Jonathan Trump has been denied a loan. NR reporter Traci Diddle, stated that The 1st Stagecoach Bank of Tulsa turned down Trump’s requ…

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Funny story: Man Paid In Peanuts Concerned About Transfer Of Salary Into His Bank Account

Man Paid In Peanuts Concerned About Transfer Of Salary Into His Bank Account

A man who was told, last week, that, from today, he would no longer be paid in money, but that he would, instead, receive remuneration in peanuts, has said he is concerned over potential difficulties with the safe transfer of his salary into his bank…

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Funny story: UK's banking sector set to expand

UK's banking sector set to expand

The government have boasted that the UK's banking sector is set to grow by 5% in 2021. This is despite recent setbacks such as most European trading returning to the EU after Brexit. "The future of banking in the UK is secure," said treasury spoke…

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Funny story: Donald Trump Asks Sean Hannity To Please Lend Him $10 Million

Donald Trump Asks Sean Hannity To Please Lend Him $10 Million

MAR-A-LAGO – (Satire News) – The word coming out of Trump’s new permanent residence is that the former president is in one horrible financial mess. BuzzFuzz is reporting that the man who, in just 4 years, spewed over 47,000 lies, including around…

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Funny story: Man Is Going To Rob A Bank

Man Is Going To Rob A Bank

An Englishman whose mind is in absolute turmoil with regard to how he is going to ensure the well-being of his young family after his own death, is going to rob a bank. The extremely ambitious plan was hatched today by Ken Moyswood (not real name)…

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Funny story: Durango Police Make An Extremely Unusual Arrest

Durango Police Make An Extremely Unusual Arrest

DURANGO, Colorado – Durango’s Prospectors Bank was nearly robbed yesterday, by an individual who wore a Denver Broncos Coronavirus medical mask. Bank teller, Concordia Dewdusky, 51, told police that a tall Peruvian man with a parrot on his shoulde...

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Funny story: Banks to Customers: The Secret to Enduring the Coronavirus Pandemic is to Borrow More Money...Do Your Part!

Banks to Customers: The Secret to Enduring the Coronavirus Pandemic is to Borrow More Money...Do Your Part!

(Cincinnati, OH) Here in the US city with the largest concentration of banks per capita, bankers joined Governor Mike DeWine in the much-anticipated “Reopening of Ohio” by offering special loans and other incentives to what would traditionally be co...

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Funny story: Illuminati to Focus on World Finance Domination

Illuminati to Focus on World Finance Domination

AUSTIN, TEXAS - The Illuminati are giving up on "Political Intrigue", because they are sick and tired of the "f*cking incompetence" which is rampant among ALL politicians. Keeping their focus on control of the Financial Markets, the Banks, and Invest...

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Funny story: Federal Reserve loses banking license

Federal Reserve loses banking license

Washington D.C. According to YouTube viewer Joe Blow, the Federal Reserve lost its banking license on September 14, 2018. “I was watching YouTube, and all of a sudden this Scottish guy started saying the Federal Reserve was DONE. No more licen...

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Funny story: CISA Certified Mohd Aidil Harith Resigns From BPMB After 5 Year Stint

CISA Certified Mohd Aidil Harith Resigns From BPMB After 5 Year Stint

Mr. Mohd Aidil Harith has resigned from Bank Pembangunan Malaysia Berhad's (BPMB) System Auditor with immediate effect. Aidil has been with the Bank for the past 5 years since May 2013 and has changed BPMB's IT landscape. Aidil is a Certified Info...

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Funny story: Tentacle Bank is set to do business on Planet Earth

Tentacle Bank is set to do business on Planet Earth

Tentacle Bank of Planet Purplonia is getting ready to bring their business to Earth. New television ads for the bank proclaim, "Tentacle Bank offers loans at 2% APR, savings at 16% interest. How does that grab you?" Financial experts are a bit puz...

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