The banks are falling! The banks are falling! So yelled Hermann Von Moneylaunder, president of a very big and important European bank. After he took out all his money and put it into Bitcoin, that is. The banks are failing for a reason. There i…
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Salvatore Goombalini, who is the head of the biggest crime syndicate in the entire nation, has just issued a statement, stating that he wants anyone who has money in his 'family's' bank, to rest assured that unlike oth…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Another major bank has just bit the dust, joining Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank of New York. Beaver Crossing National Bank was founded over one hundred years ago by Homer Smuckmeister, Elmer’s great, great grandfathe…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Earlier in this column it was announced that Sgt. Bilko was named to replace Janet Yellen as Treasury Secretary. His pledge to account for every penny in our banking system was put to the test yesterday. A widely watched video sho…
Do you have your money in a bank? Fool! Don’t you realize that all banks are trying to crash themselves so that crypto can become king? That way, no nation can tax the rich EVER since how can you tax crypto if it’s located in some Singaporean’s pants…
For centuries people have complained that they're poor because they have little or no money in their wallet or purse or geeky fanny-pack, but new insights have come forth that would seem to contradict the concept of rich or poor. Eminent math egg-…
TULSA – (Satire News) – The National Rumblings News Agency has just revealed that that one-term president Donald Jonathan Trump has been denied a loan. NR reporter Traci Diddle, stated that The 1st Stagecoach Bank of Tulsa turned down Trump’s requ…
A man who was told, last week, that, from today, he would no longer be paid in money, but that he would, instead, receive remuneration in peanuts, has said he is concerned over potential difficulties with the safe transfer of his salary into his bank…
The government have boasted that the UK's banking sector is set to grow by 5% in 2021. This is despite recent setbacks such as most European trading returning to the EU after Brexit. "The future of banking in the UK is secure," said treasury spoke…
MAR-A-LAGO – (Satire News) – The word coming out of Trump’s new permanent residence is that the former president is in one horrible financial mess. BuzzFuzz is reporting that the man who, in just 4 years, spewed over 47,000 lies, including around…
An Englishman whose mind is in absolute turmoil with regard to how he is going to ensure the well-being of his young family after his own death, is going to rob a bank. The extremely ambitious plan was hatched today by Ken Moyswood (not real name)…
DURANGO, Colorado – Durango’s Prospectors Bank was nearly robbed yesterday, by an individual who wore a Denver Broncos Coronavirus medical mask. Bank teller, Concordia Dewdusky, 51, told police that a tall Peruvian man with a parrot on his shoulde...
(Cincinnati, OH) Here in the US city with the largest concentration of banks per capita, bankers joined Governor Mike DeWine in the much-anticipated “Reopening of Ohio” by offering special loans and other incentives to what would traditionally be co...
AUSTIN, TEXAS - The Illuminati are giving up on "Political Intrigue", because they are sick and tired of the "f*cking incompetence" which is rampant among ALL politicians. Keeping their focus on control of the Financial Markets, the Banks, and Invest...
Washington D.C. According to YouTube viewer Joe Blow, the Federal Reserve lost its banking license on September 14, 2018. “I was watching YouTube, and all of a sudden this Scottish guy started saying the Federal Reserve was DONE. No more licen...
Mr. Mohd Aidil Harith has resigned from Bank Pembangunan Malaysia Berhad's (BPMB) System Auditor with immediate effect. Aidil has been with the Bank for the past 5 years since May 2013 and has changed BPMB's IT landscape. Aidil is a Certified Info...
Tentacle Bank of Planet Purplonia is getting ready to bring their business to Earth. New television ads for the bank proclaim, "Tentacle Bank offers loans at 2% APR, savings at 16% interest. How does that grab you?" Financial experts are a bit puz...
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