FBI List: Popular Quotes We Think Shakespeare Said, But He Didn't
William "Bill" Shakespeare is arguably the most well-known writer of all time. Many of his quotes have worked their way into our cultural lexicon and everyday speech. Some popular quotes, however, are mistakenly attributed to him. The FBI Literature…
Read full storySergeant Musk Stinks Like His T-Shirt
Elon Musk is a fucking genius. Ukraine should be neutral, that way the war will be over. (Was he wearing a “Occupy Mars”? t-shirt? Occupy? You a Russian spy in training, Elon? Got a little military boner in your pants? And he’s got a “Nuke Mars” s…
Read full storyThe #1 Cable Television Western "Hell On Wheels" Is Returning By Popular Demand With Brand New Episodes
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - LaLaLand Daily reporter Macadamia Honeysuckle, recently sat down with Anson Mount, at the Drunk Duck Lounge in West Hollywood. Mount, portrays the tough-as-nails, no bullshit, railroad crew foreman Cullen Bohannon, who…
Read full storyTRUMP GUILTY: Sentenced To Listen To Cristy Lane Sing Uninterrupted Gospel Songs For Six Months
BILLINGSGATE POST: New York State Judge Horacio Humbert, after disconnecting his hearing aid, sentenced Donald Trump to six month of listening to uninterrupted wailing by Gospel singer Cristy Lane. Some of Lane’s recordings include One Day at a Time,…
Read full storyIf Costa Rica Does Not Get Any Rain (And Soon) 98.3% of The Banana Crop Will Be Lost
CIUDAD PLATANO, Costa Rica - (World Satire) - One of Costa Rica's largest growers of bananas Senor Salvador Del Buncho, told the president of Costa Rica Rodrigo Alberto de Jesus Chaves Robles, that if the country does not get rain, and soon, then the…
Read full storyMeteorologists Report That The Winds From Hurricane Ian Were So Strong That They Destroyed Thousands of Clouds
MIAMI, Florida - (Satire News) - Meteorologists with The Miami Hurricane Federation (MHF) report that Hurricane Ian, was one of the most powerful hurricanes since hurricanes first showed up on Earth. Ian, which was named after famed writer Ian Fle…
Read full storyPrince Harry Tells Prince William Not To Ever Call Him or Text Him Again
BEVERLY HILLS, California - (UK Satire) - The BBC has stated that Prince Harry of America has informed his brother Prince William of England that he is never to call or text him again. Harry said that he is sick and tired of Wils and his wife, Kat…
Read full storySeagal Can’t Fly on the Cruise
Tom Cruise has already signed a deal for the next Mission Impossible movie. Tom is gonna join forces in Ukraine and single-handedly take Russia down. Steven Seagal, Putin’s personal Hollywood bitch, doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like that Cruise i…
Read full storyVacation in Afghanistan – and Die!
Journalists, reporters, women, you pretty much name it, and no one can live safely in Afghanistan. No shit! They won. They kicked everybody out of their country, and are really good at doing so, ever since the Romans (maybe even earlier?). But wit…
Read full storyI was only queuing for 15 minutes today
Hello, Mr Raymond Ving here again, with another tale from my tediously boring life. Do you know the Post Office? The one in the high street? The one where Fred and Lynne work? I say work, they just seem to be always laughing at their own jokes, an…
Read full storyWhataburger Inc. Is Opening The Very First Whataburger In England
SAN ANTONIO, Texas - (Satire News) - The Texas based Whataburger Inc. has just announced that it will soon be opening the very first Whataburger restaurant outside of the United States in downtown London. According to Buckingham Palace spokesperso…
Read full storyThe BBC Says That The Number of Tourists Visiting Buckingham Palace Has Increased By 700% Since King Charles III Moved In
LONDON - (UK Satire) - BBC reporter Oceana Figgly reports that the number of tourists visiting Buckingham Palace has shot up by 700%. She pointed out that the number of people who want to try and get a glimpse of King Charles III, is responsible f…
Read full storyWe were only joking really
Hello, This is your government speaking. You know, the one no one really wants anymore, but we are still sticking around because we make up all of the rules? Anyway, that whole thing about the Taxes, we were only joking. I mean, as if we would…
Read full storyMan Finds New Way to Woo
A gorgeous Chicago man, recently separated, is looking to get back in the game. The last time he hit on a woman the "stain" on the Blue Dress was wet. He cannot resist "swinging for the fences" with his current triad of pick-up lines: * What w…
Read full storyBritish Forces Are Victorious At The Battle of Borova
BOROVA, Ukraine - (UK Satire) - The BBC reports that British forces from The 707th Queen's Elite Infantry Regiment defeated a Russian regiment, which quickly retreated toward the Russian-Ukrainian border. The Russian troops were made up of recentl…
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