Twitter Announces That They Are Expanding Trump’s Ban For 21 More Years
SAN FRANCISCO – (Satire News) – President Trump says that he is starting to feel like a fucking pinata because every time he turns around he is getting clobbered. The latest Trumptard clobbering is credited to Twitter, which has just made it known…
Read full storyPresident Biden Has Just Signed A Presidential Executive Order That Anyone Who Qualifies as Being Poor Will Pay a Standard Tax of 75¢ Per Year
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – President Biden has just assured himself the he will be re-elected in 2024. Acting on advice from VP Harris, the first lady, Dr. Jill Biden, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, and Tom Brady, he will be signing a new Presiden…
Read full storyJack-in-the-Box, in An Effort To Increase Patrons, Plans to Add Swimming Pools to Their Restaurants
CALEXICO, California – (Satire News) – A spokesperson for the Jack-in-the-Box restaurant chain has just announced that the 71-year-old company will be implementing a new change to help boost their menu-item sales. Spokesperson Nanette Cowcaloochi,…
Read full storyMichael Cohen Says He and The Big Breasted Stormy Daniels Are Now Bosom Buddies
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – In one of the most interesting hook-ups in recent memory, the Trumptard’s former lawyer and “Fixer,” Michael Cohen and the Trumptard’s former side-piece Stormy Daniels are having a great time texting and sexting and la…
Read full storyManic-Depressive Batman: A Day in the Life
We’ve seen our favorite heroes gender-swapped and race-swapped over the years in our media. Now see your favorite stars battling with mental illnesses from the DSM-V. Alfred walks into the bedroom of Batman with his lunch he prepared for him and s…
Read full storyThe Reason North Korean Leader Kim Jong-un Changed His Name
PYONGYANG, North Korea – (World Satire) – A top secret North Korean investigating agency has just finished conducting an extensive investigation into the life of President Kim Jong-un. These secretive secret reports reveal that Kim’s birth name is…
Read full story1,007 of Florida’s 1,013 McDonalds Have Officially Banned Donald J. Trump
PENSACOLA, Florida – (Satire News) – A spokesperson for the Florida McDonalds restaurant chain has informed the American public that DJT has just been banned from setting foot in 1,007 of the McDonalds located in the Plywood State. Warner F. Ragga…
Read full storyAaron Rodgers Denies That He Is The Father of A Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader’s Twin Girls
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin – (Satire News) – Sportapalooza is reporting that Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is vehemently denying that he is the father of Cowboys Cheerleader Missy Buzzavino’s twin baby girls, Aarona and Aaronette. Rodgers,…
Read full storySarah Ferguson Has Just Revealed That Donald Trump Once Asked Her Out On A Date
LONDON – (UK Satire) – The Bee’s Knees News Agency reports that the former Duchess of York informed BKNA writer Birmingham Cribworthy that the twice-impeached, one term loser Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump asked her out on a date back in 1992. Sara…
Read full storyAn Exercise Gym in Key West, Florida Has Banned Overweight People
KEY WEST, Florida – (Satire News) – In a move that has drawn criticism and ire from millions of overweight people throughout America, the Sleek & Slender Gym located in Key West, has just implemented a new policy. A spokesperson for the S&…
Read full storyRussia Issues A Very, Very Strong Warning To Lithuania
MOSCOW – (World News) – The Kremlin Voice has made it known to the little bitty country of Lithuania that if one of it’s fighter jets crosses into Russian air space again it will be shot down and the biggest piece of the plane that will be left will…
Read full storyTom Brady Is Considering Running For Governor of Florida
TAMPA BAY, Florida - (Satire News) - In a breaking story, Boom Boom News reporter Hacienda Fiddle is reporting that Tom Brady, who just recently retired from the NFL after 22 seasons is contemplating throwing his 'helmet' into the ring and running fo…
Read full storyUkraine Global War Threat Analysis
Top officials around the globe have been keeping a close eye on the events that have been transpiring around Ukraine. Highly sought-after information has just leaked through The United Nations Security Council on War and Peace. This report wi…
Read full story2022's New Olympic Sport: Napping
The Olympics officially kicked off in China and the future couldn’t be brighter for new talented athletes. It offers unbelievable feats like amazing races, hockey games, and of course Canada’s finest achievement: curling. The new sport added most rec…
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