KEY WEST, Florida – (Satire News) – In a move that has drawn criticism and ire from millions of overweight people throughout America, the Sleek & Slender Gym located in Key West, has just implemented a new policy.
A spokesperson for the S&SG noted that employees have noticed that people who are anywhere from 45 to 165 pounds overweight tend to enter the gym and leave after only 7 or 8 minutes.
The gym manager, Oliver R. Simonsox, said that what these 7 or 8 minute fatties are doing is taking up parking spaces that could be used by those gym members who truly want to lose weight or have a desire to stay in shape.
So Simonsox says that effective immediately he will be banning any member who is at least 35 pounds overweight from using his facility.
SIDENOTE: When gym member Carla Dutterdill, who is 87 pounds overweight, asked if the banned overweighters would be getting a refund, she was told absolutely not.
