The Oakland A's Draw Only 913 Fans For Their Home Opener
OAKLAND, California - (Sports Satire) - The Major League Baseball team with the very ususual name, the A's, is struggling to attract fans to their games. The businessman who owns the Athletics, John J. Fisher has been trying to get the city of Oak…
Read full storyThe Pope Is Flying To Ukraine
The Pope has seen enough of the torture, slaughter, and destruction of the innocent people and nation of Ukraine. So he's going to Ukraine to bring God along and drive out El Diablo. "Enough already," he said. "God hasn't helped." "I WAS RESTIN…
Read full storyThe Russian KGB Has Just Arrested Vladimir Putin
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The FBI, The CIA, and The IUD, are all reporting that Russia's mad, crazed, out-of-control leader has been officially arrested. The Kremlin Voice informed CNN that Putin put up quite a fight, but after he was hit…
Read full storyThe Extremely Sexy and Erotic Elizabeth Hurley Sells A Nude Selfie of Herself For £172,319 ($225,000 US)
LONDON - (Satire News) - One of Great Britain's most gorgeously sexy women is none other than Elizabeth Hurley. The movie star, who is 56, looks much better than probably about 85% of all United Kingdom women who are half her age. One resident…
Read full storyToddler Can't Decide on Favourite Penguin
Although it is two days since he returned from the zoo, three-year-old Jacob still can’t decide on his favourite Penguin. Jacob’s Mum Elsie takes up the story ‘Jacob was in a bit of pickle when we asked him which of the Penguins he had seen was hi…
Read full storyThat Man Everyone Avoids in the Pub is Your MP
You know that weird bloke who looks like he got dressed really quickly, to avoid the attentions of a suspicious husband? Yes, him, the one who said those things about Hitler, and how in his day complaining was for sissies ‘When you could call them si…
Read full storyTheatre Reviewer still using Pretentious Words
Theatre Reviewer Bob Montgomery is still using pretentious words in all of his reviews. ‘Yes’ said Bob ‘I grew up reading Q Magazine, and all of that type of smorgasbord of entertainment, so using my Diamante like the plethora of words and their m…
Read full storyNosy Neighbour Thinks he is James Stewart
Gary Johnson has been watching his new neighbours, who have just moved in from picturesque local Hamlet Horse-trough for three hours, and now thinks he is James Stewart. ‘Yes, I love all of the old films’ began Gary ‘Rear Window is just a classic’…
Read full storyMichael Made-up's usual Tuesday Bullshit
Hello, Michael Made-up here again. You know me. I am the funny one. No, not the Prime Minister. The one who is always sticking up for old Boris. He and I, go way back. All the way back. It will only be a few months until my knighthood, and the…
Read full storyMan Loses his Favourite Pen
Gary Johnson has lost his favourite pen. He wants everyone on his blog to know he has lost his favourite pen. Have you seen Gary’s favourite pen? Tell us about it, Gary. ‘I have lost my favourite pen. I know, it is tragic. I just can’t write witho…
Read full storyConservatives Announce A Kill all Kittens Policy
Having said some nonsense about some things, the Conservative Party will shortly be announcing a kill all Kittens policy. ‘It has come to our attention' said Conservative Bod Evil O’Shay ‘that people like Kittens, so like all of the nice things in…
Read full storyBest Crockery Still Gathering Dust
Your best crockery set, you know the one your Mum gave to you fifteen years ago, when your parents moved. The one with the bad flowers and writing on it. You know the one. The one in the garage, underneath your forgotten Haircut 100 albums, Yes, that…
Read full storyDonald Trump Calls Will Smith And Thanks Him For Taking The Heat Off Of Him
SQUAW BOSOM, Florida - (Satire News) - The former "Golfer-in-Chief," Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump, was in the tiny town of Squaw Bosom, getting an estimate on having some of his hundreds of facial wrinkles removed from his ugly, orange mug. He wa…
Read full storyJohnson's daily apologies growing tiresome
This morning, Prime Minister Boris Johnson made his daily apology to the country for the twentieth day in a row. "I'm really sorry," he said. "Honestly, I really am this time. I promise it won't happen again, at least for another twenty four hours."…
Read full storyWill Smith Arrested On Counterfeiting Charges
OIL SLICK, Pennsylvania - (Satire News) - The Alpha Beta News Agency, has just broken the story that Will "The Oscar's Ambusher" Smith was visiting a second cousin in Oil Slick, Pennsylvania, when local authorities took him into custody. According…
Read full storyBob Baffert's Transgendered Race Horse Is The Odds-On Favorite To Win The Kentucky Derby
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Sports Satire) - The 148th running of the "Run For The Roses" as the Kentucky Derby is called will have a field of 24 horses, by far the most thoroughbreds to race at Churchill Downs. Two of the horses are from China, one i…
Read full storyHollywood’s Sexy New Line of Fascism
Not only did Donald Trump look like a celebrity when he was president, he was a celebrity! Now, dictators around the world have been seduced by The Donald. (Others want to use the definite article when referring to themselves as well: The Putin,…
Read full storyPutin Invaded Ukraine for "Sumthin’ To Do"
A Russian insider who cannot be named has told this reporter that Vladimir Putin has only invaded Ukraine “for something to do while waiting for Trump to come back.” The Russian mole hinted that there exists a deep bromance between the two fascis…
Read full storyThe Unbelievably Amazing Reason Why One Of American Idol's Favorite Female Singers Was Disqualified
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - In a shocking revelation, BuzzFuzz is reporting that one of this year's favoritie American Idol singers has just been disqualified from the show. AI host Ryan Seacrest told reporter Taffeta Kixx that private investigato…
Read full storyThe Pope Warns Putin That If He Uses Nukes Against Ukraine - He'll Demand That All of The World's Nations Attack Russia
THE VATICAN - (Satire News) - The Pope usually does not ever interfere in world politics, as he prefers to leave it to the world leaders, many of whom are nothing more than egotistic, arrogant, warmongering assholes (i.e. Putin, Kim Jong-un, Chang Fu…
Read full storyHarry McGuire admits to 'occasional bouts of nudity'
England and Manchester United defender, Harry McGuire, last night told a newspaper that he has been completely naked on a number of occasions and has even been involved in sordid bouts of nudity with fellow players and current England boss, Gareth So…
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