Donald Trump Is Still Lying as He Insists That He's Not Bald
MAR-A-LAGO, Florida – (Satire News) – iRumors has divulged that ex-president Donald Trump, aka the former Divider-in-Chief, is actually totally bald. Trump’s hairstylist, his personal nurse, his sex therapist, and girlfriend, Maria Bartiromo, we…
Read full storyMelania To Open A Boutique
After four years of wearing a new outfit every day, Melania Trump accumulated several truckloads of designer clothing. Deciding to make some cash on the side, she is opening a boutique called Melania's Leftovers. Her famous green jacket with I Don…
Read full storyCouple now only listening to the Wurzels
Chutney on the Fritz couple Gary and Lorraine Johnson have revealed that, due to various differences of opinion, they are now only listening to their Wurzels albums. 'It has only been during Lockdown,' said Gary, 'that we have realised we both hav…
Read full storyStudent Denied Third Visit To Toilet In Same Lesson Spurts Diarrhoea Over Wide Area
There was controversy at a local primary school earlier today, when a male student who had already paid two visits to the toilet during his science lesson, was denied a third visit by his frustrated teacher, and was made to pay dearly for the consequ…
Read full storySnoring in hospital beds is to be forbidden!
(NOT EDITED) Anti-snoring groups are protesting outside German hospitals in an attempt to make it a crime to snore during time spent in wards. "Snoring is a crime and should be forbidden!" Sensitive ex-patients have been observed screaming, "Snor…
Read full storyMyanmar Army Denies Coup; Blames Antifa
YANGON – Despite reports from a variety of major news services of a military coup in Myanmar, the leaders of the Army are denying that they had any involvement in a coup. Photos and video showing military vehicles warming the capital, Yangon, are…
Read full storyLeBron James' Lakers and Kawhi Leonard's Clippers Have L.A. Fans Jumping For Joy
LOS ANGELES – (Sports News) – The two teams that are occupying the top of the NBA’s Western Conference are both from LaLaLand, home of earthquakes, forest fires, mudslides, state-of-the-art drugs, and the Kardashian bitches. The celebrity media ag…
Read full storyElon Musk’s New Planetary Telescope is The Most Powerful in The World
HOUSTON, Texas – (Satire News) – The richest man in the world, Elon Musk has just developed the amazing Musk Busybody Planetary Telescope, which he has nicknamed "Ringo". The entrepreneur, who is the father of the Tesla, the SpaceX Starship, and…
Read full storyEx-Laker J.R. Smith found in Orlando Bubble hideout, thought there was still one more round of playoffs
Former Los Angeles Lakers role player J.R. Smith was found Saturday in a storage facility at the Disney Bubble complex near Orlando, more than 3 months after the conclusion of 2019-2020 season, expecting there to be still one more round of playoffs.
Read full storyOut of State Man Disturbed by Local Old Coot
A non-local man is reported to be "highly disturbed" by a chance encounter with a local old coot. According to local authorities, a man new to the area made the bad decision to engage an old coot known to locals as "That Crazy Old Coot" in casual con…
Read full storyMaybe Biden's penis looks like a baby corn, says GOP strategist planning fake news leak
A senior GOP strategist reportedly tabled the idea they could damage US President Joe Biden's reputation by leaking a fake news story about how unflattering the President's penis was, especially when compared to former president Donald Trump's, accor…
Read full storyCuomo and Newsom can twirl; but can they hop?
Analysts say the two foremost governors, in charge of martializing the society at the cost of businesses dying, suicides, and other abuses, appear to be shifting their positions now that Trump is gone. Mr. Cuomo of New York and Mr. Newsom of Calif…
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