Cuomo and Newsom can twirl; but can they hop?

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Monday, 1 February 2021

image for Cuomo and Newsom can twirl; but can they hop?
Under construction now: a new "Abiding Citizen" statue as tribute to Messrs. Biden, Cuomo, and Newsom

Analysts say the two foremost governors, in charge of martializing the society at the cost of businesses dying, suicides, and other abuses, appear to be shifting their positions now that Trump is gone.

Mr. Cuomo of New York and Mr. Newsom of California have both indicated some easing of restrictions although why exactly is as usual not clear, according to experts pondering the situation.

Indeed, Mr. Newsom's office recently indicated that the reasoning behind Mr. Newsom's profuse covid program was far too complex to try to explain, due to being derived from computer algorithms.

These highly technical brains in the place of human intelligence (or lack of it) have conjured the following solution:

A very dangerous color in California is purple because this means a particular county is limited in certain ways now familiar in terms of "the lockdown ballet."

Take an average sized county in Northern California (and this could apply to many counties throughout the country) at 100,000 and about one hundred square miles. Its record during the panic has been 37 deaths total since last March. One person only is in intensive care. Less than 400 cases.

Also, as is well known, the deaths are mostly (LA Times says 74%) elderly, with additional problems.

One consequence of Mr. Newsom's policies is the gathering momentum of a petition to recall him.

Cold weather and patio dining might seem to offer a competitor for covid, medical experts say, . Breakfast at 39 degrees F (besides traffic noise and exhaust) would not, to some, seem a reasonable exchange for the danger.

Additionally, now that the WHO has announced a problem of "false positives," the problem once again appears to have been over-stated toward hysterical conclusions that also happen to benefit wealthy corporations.

Analysts conclude Mr. Cuomo and Mr. Newsom may well be ready to hop on opening up the economy again before voters turn to them with the message "to hop it and move on back to your day job."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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